West Point


1
Dedicated to
THE UNITED STATES CORPS
      OF CADETS
Men of The Long Grey Line,
where Grant, Lee and Pershing
once stood....heirs to glorious
tradition
  THE PRIDE OF AMERICA!

2
Late in June, candidates
arrive from every state
in the Union....Alaska....
the Philippines....the Army
and National Guard -

3
"Dockin' at West Point
  in ten minutes!"

4
"Wire the Academy that
General Nuisance is
arriving! Have a flock
of Colonels meet me!"

5
"From now on West Point
is going to amount to
    something!"

6
"I wonder if Cadets wear
corsets to get that military
         shape."

7
"Candidates for West 
Point....line up here!"

8
"Pay close attention!
Answer all questions 
in English....or its
    equivalent!"

9
"What's your name?"

10
"Ben Bolt!"

11
"I remember your sister
        Alice!"

12
"T-T-T-T-T-Tex
M-M-M-M-M-Mc
N-N-N-N-N-Neil!"

13
It's a good thing your
name's not Phillip
 Pfeffenflinger!"

14
"Samuel Rosenberg."

15
"Ah! An eskimo!"

16
"Michael O'Day....thank
         you."

17
"Don't thank me! I had
nothing to do with it!"

18
"Open mouths....for
tooth inspection!"

19
"You've fallen arches!
I'll put you in the
   archery class!"

20
"Is that all your own 
       mouth?"

21
"You have dandruff, haven't 
          you?"

22
"Better sew that up 
before it spreads!"

23
"All who want to become 
Generals....raise your
      hands!"

24
"Now....sit up and beg!"

25
"My name's Brice Wayne....
old man Wayne's smartest
        boy!"

26
"Pardon me, gentlemen....
I feel my weak moment 
    coming on."

27
"Whom have I the honor
   of thanking?"

28
"My name is Betty
    Channing."

29
"Betty Channing? What
a beautiful name, my
      child."

30
"Lumbago leaves one
 so helpless -"

31
"Gee, but you're beautiful!"

32
"You're not blind!"

33
"Oh, no! I'm the original
    little see-saw!"

34
"Major Mullens!"

35
"Wayne's the name....
   Brice Wayne."

36
"We just had a little
love spat. You know
  how women are."

37
"This fresh young person
is a stranger to me! I
don't know him from 
      Adam!"

38
"Why, Betty Channing...
you do so! Adam had
     an apple!"

39
"She'll get over it when
she sees me in a Cadet
        suit."

40
"So you aspire to a 
career in the Army?"

41
"Oh, no! I'm just going 
to study a little war....
in case I ever get 
    married."

42
"Baggage checks, please!"

43
"Mammy!"

44
Betty Channing's mother
owned the West Point
      Hotel.

45
"I came back from 
furlough just to see
   you, Betty."

46
"Watch the old master....
and learn how I take
     them away."

47
"When I go get the babies,
Believe me, they stay got!
Compared to me Mark Antony
Was not so very hot!"

48
"I'm canned heat to the
	Mommas,
No matter where I rove!
Once I made an Eskimo
Throw away her stove!"

49
"MAMMY!"

50
"Maybe I can rip off a
few ditties for you and
   the General."

51
"Mr. Wayne....meet mr.
      Sperry."

52
"What'll it be....The Coughing
Sonata from Camille, or The
Flea Song from Tales of
        Hoffman?"

53
"My first number will be that
little Spanish song entitled....
Who put Fido's biscuits in
  Father's hot tamale?"

54
"I had a gal in Chili!
One of those Andes queens!
She didn't know her onions,
But she knew her Chili beans!"

55
"Mr. Sperry is not permitted
to stay at the post because 
   he's on furlough!"

56
"Good-bye, forever!
    Good-bye, forever!"

57
"I think you are very 
    discourteous!"

58
"A sweet Parisian Mammy
Who lived on Rue d'Barr;
She loved me so, she gave
	to me,
Her little Oo! La! La!"

59
"MAMMY!"

60
"You're a peach, Betty!
I'm awfully glad you 
     met me!"

61
"MOTHER!"

62
"Come on....I promise
we won't run out of
gas....no flat tires....
   no detours!"

63
"I think I've made a 
mistake, Mr. Wayne."

64
"This is a private war,
Soldier! Nobody invited
     the Army!"

65
"Gosh, I wish you hadn't 
  punched Chase. He
just lost his entrance 
     fee, too."

66
"Serves him right for
     butting in!"

67
"How much did he lose?"

68
"All his entrance fee....
two hundred and fifty
     dollars."

69
"If you tell him where that 
money came from....I'll
   wring your neck!"

70
The next day was July
First....the morning on
which all candidates must
report. And at 5:49 1/2 A.M.,
        all's well -

71
"Hurry up, Brice! Let's
be among the first to 
     report!"

72
"You'll teach these guys 
bad habits....expecting 
    us on time."

73
"Look, Brice! I think that's
  a statue of Kosciusko!"

74
"I remember him! That's
the wrestler who threw
      Zybyscko!"

75
"Greetings, Corporal!
How's the old kid?"

76
"You've got a nice joint 
   here....I like it!"

77
"That makes us very
      happy."

78
"My boy-friend is scared
  of army officers -"

79
"- but I'm wise that it's 
all the bunk! Get me?"

80
"From now on if we
want any favors....
  we're a cinch!"

81
"Say, Boy Scout....where'll
  I find the reception
      committee?"

82
"You'd make a swell
looking carriage starter
   at a cafeteria."

83
"I'd like to put a bee in 
     his union-suit!"

84
"How are you, Mr. West
....how's your Point?"

85
"Drop those bags!"

86
"Pick 'em up!"

87
"Unbuckle those golf trou,
    Mr. Dumbguard!"

88
"Pick up those bags!
   Snap it up!"

89
"If I unbuckle my trousers
    I'll catch cold!"

90
"Do what you're told, Mister!"
And when addressing officers
and upper classmen....use
          SIR!"

91
"Wipe that smile off 
     your face!"

92
"Mr. Wayne, fall out!
Put your baggage in 
room seventeen thirty-
        one."

93
"Pardon me, young
     feller -"

94
"Pardon me....Sir! I'd like
an outside room with a
southern exposure -"

95
"It was great of you to 
fix it so we can room 
     together."

96
"That's all right....don't
      mention it!"

97
"Attention-n-n-n!!
New Cadets turn 
out immediately!"

98
"Hereafter we'll take 
our time doing things!
  Let him squawk!"

99
"I'll show those birds
they can't scare me!"

100
"Why didn't you salute
        me?"

101
"I thought you were 
 still mad at me."

102
"Now....salute!"

103
"Why don't you pick on 
somebody your size?"

104
"Right....face!"

105
9:30 P.M. --
    TAPS.

106
"All in?"

107
"All in? Hell....I'm
      dead!"

108
Then begin the weeks of
hard training which fit
the 'Plebes' for their
 places in the Corps.

109
"Gee, Brice! Isn't this
       great?"

110
"Great? I think it's a
    lot of bunk!"

111
October.

112
"Hey, Plebe, toss that
      ball back!"

113
"That's nothing! I used to
drop-kick watermelons
over the Brooklyn Bridge."

114
"You know, I think you
could be nice....if you 
     wanted to."

115
"Why, Baby, I'm probably 
the nicest fellow you've
      ever met."

116
"And you're the cutest girl 
I know....so that makes
everything hotsy-totsy!"

117
"Why aren't you out 
  on the field?"

118
"I'm too valuable a player,
sir....to take chances of being
hurt in that preliminary stuff."

119
"Get in at right half!
  We'll soon see how 
    good you are!"

120
"Come on, Plebes! Let's
show this Big Team
how to play the game."

121
"Look out for me, Mr.
Sperry! I'm death to
      Romeos!"

122
"Let me take it around 
      his end."

123
"Plebe's ball!"

124
"Nice run, Wayne."

125
"I really ought to carry
anchors when I play....
to give the boys a 
     chance."

126
"What do you think of 
  that demon Plebe?

127
"He'll be sweet material
next year....if he's still
able to get his head in
      a helmet."

128
JUNE AGAIN -
The long, long Plebe year
is over....and the former
"Mr. Dumbguards" move
into summer camps as
   "Yearlings".

129
"Three more years of 
this and we ought to
be a couple of good
     valets!"

130
"They must bottle the 
breeze around here and 
save it for Generals!"

131
"Mount!"

132
"Left by twos....trot!
      March!"

133
"What are you waiting 
for....a pillow and a
    blanket?"

134
"I've had enough of your 
comedy! Cut it out!"

135
Band Concert.

136
"That guy Sperry is getting
    terribly annoying."

137
"I'm terribly keen for
you, Betty... but I guess
that isn't much of a 
      secret."

138
"I didn't mean to fuss
you, Betty. I'll wait for
your answer....as long
as you want me to."

139
"I just couldn't go away
  and leave him here
      with you."

140
"I'm crazy about you,
       Betty!"

141
"And you're crazy about 
  me, too! You can't 
      deny it!"

142
"It's going to be awful 
sad for that Navy team
next Saturday....if I
   keep my health."

143
"You've been trying to 
give papa the go-by....
   haven't you?"

144
"You have no respect for
anybody or anything....
     have you?"

145
"Well, I respect the Navy....
but I'm not afraid of 'em."

146
"I didn't expect you to 
understand. We have
nothing in common,
   Mr. Wayne!"

147
"Is that the open gate 
      for me?"

148
"The next time you're late....
you'll find yourself on the
       scrubs!"

149
"Lose me....just before
the Navy game? Don't
      be sil!"

150
"On the bench....until
that nasty temper of 
  yours cools off!"

151
"My name's Shaw ....of 
  the Evening News."

152
"How come you're on
    the bench?"

153
"It's a lot of jealousy
    and favoritism!"

154
"The press is interviewing me,
  my boy! Don't annoy me!"

155
"Are you responsible
   for this story?"

156
"What of it? It's the truth....
     and you know it!"

157
"Wayne, you haven't 
got the spirit of the 
      Corps!"

158
"To hell with the Corps!"

159
"- and he said....'to
hell with the Corps'!"

160
"You handled Wayne perfectly
right! If ever a player means
more than the Corps' honor...
  we'll abolish football!"

161
"Brice, you didn't mean 
what you said about 
    the Corps?"

162
"I meant every word of it....
     and then some!"

163
"Don't say that! Don't
you realize you've got 
   to apologize?"

164
"But, Brice....think what
will happen if the Honor
Committee takes it up!"

165
"They'll silence you!"

166
"That means you'll be 
shunned! No West 
Pointer will even speak
to you....as long as you
        live!"

167
"Shut up! I won't 
   apologize!"

168
"You've got to! That's 
the spirit of the Corps!"

169
"The Honor Committee is
meeting tonight to consider
  silencing Wayne!"

170
"And I hope he gets 
     it, too!"

171
"You should be the last 
one to hope that....if it
weren't for Brice Wayne
you wouldn't be here!"

172
"He's the one who paid
 your entrance fee!"

173
"I'm going before the 
  Honor Committee!"

174
"Please don't condemn 
Wayne, fellows! Of you
knew him like I do....
you'd understand he 
didn't mean what he 
      said!"

175
"He brags about the bad 
things he does...but you
never hear him talk
about the good ones!"

176
"Wayne's made of the 
stuff that the Army 
needs! Don't ruin his
career, fellows! Help
        him!"

177
"I'll bring him here to 
apologize! I promise
I will! Give me time!
I'll get him here!"

178
"Out of respect for McNeil....
  I suggest we postpone
further action until he has 
     recovered."

179
"McNeil hasn't come 
     in yet."

180
"He won't be in. He's at the
hospital....with concussion
     of the brain."

181
"Will you please see that 
this goes through to the
    Superintendent?"

182
"I don't suppose you can
 ever forgive me, Tex."

183
"It was my fault. I made
        you mad."

184
"I've been an awful heel, 
Tex. No wonder the
Corps cut me. I just
   don't belong."

185
"Aw, Brice...you mustn't feel
so bad about it...everybody
    makes mistakes -"

186
"There isn't a Kaydet in
the Corps who wouldn't
like to be your pal....
 if you'd let them -"

187
"And Betty's crazy about 
you, too....she can't fool 
         me!"

188
"Wait till you sink the 
Navy next Saturday....
you'll feel different then
       I'll bet!"

189
"Have you still got that
  letter I gave you?"

190
"It's gone through."

191
"Mr. Dumbguard, how
many days before the
    Navy game?"

192
"Three glorious days, sir....
praise be to Allah and the
       Army mule!"

193
"What is a goat,
Mr. Dumbjohn?"

194
"A goat, Sir, is a beast
 that looks terrible,
smells terrible, and is
terribly afraid of a 
       mule."

195
"Battalion-n-n-n
attention-n-n-n!"

196
"Following inspection today
the Corps will assemble in
the south area to send the
team off to the Navy game."

197
"Time of departure of the
Corps for the game will
be six p.m. tomorrow."

198
"Report to the Superintendent
      immediately."

199
"Short Corps Yell!"

200
"The Army's coming down the river,
The Army's got the goods today.
The Navy's goat begins to shiver
	and quiver,
When the Army's mule begins to bray!"

201
"Mr. Wayne, you don't 
like West Point, do 
       you?"

202
"Yes I do, sir."

203
"I understand you expressed 
  yourself differently."

204
"I did, sir....but I'll be 
sorry as long as I live."

205
"I'll gladly die for the 
     Corps, sir!"

206
"The Corps wants men to
live...and fight for it!"

207
"Is there any reason why
I should not approve 
 your resignation?"

208
"I would like to the chance
 to make myself worthy 
  of the Corps, sir."

209
"Sons of Slum and Gravy,
We will sink the Navy."

210
"I believe you have the 
spirit of the Corps 
now - you'll have to 
hurry to catch that 
     train!"

211
"Let's give 'em a good....
     In Battery!"

212
"I owe the Corps an 
apology, sir...and the 
    team, too."

213
The most colorful gridiron
 classic of the year....
  The Army Navy Game!

214
"The Navy Middies are
entering the field!"

215
"The Army Cadets are
   now entering!"

216
"N....A....V....Y!
N-A-A-A-A-A-A-VY!"

217
"Ray! Ray! Ray!
RAH! RAH! RAH! RAH!
RAH! RAH! RAH!
West Point!
TEAM! TEAM! TEAM!

218
"Remember, you're fighting 
for the Corps! Now get
out there and dig in!"

219
"Captain Munson of the
Army wins the toss! The
Cadets will kick off!"

220
"Ready, Navy?"

221
"Ready, Army?"

222
"Hold 'em, Army!
Fight! Fight! Fight!"

223
Army - 0 - 0 - 0 -
Navy - 3 - 0 - 0 -

224
The last quarter.

225
"Five minutes to play!
Army's ball on her own
  twenty yard line!"

226
"Wayne!"

227
"I want a touchdown....
   understand!"

228
"Wayne now playing left 
 half for the Army!"

229
"Two more minutes to 
       play."

230
"Touchdown, Army!
Touchdown! Touchdown!"

231
"I apologize....fellows.
If you can forgive me
...I...I wish you would."

232
Another June -
Graduation Parade....
and farewell forever 
to the beloved Corps.

233
"They are here in ghostly assemblage,
The men of the Corps long dead,
And our hearts are standing attention
While we wait for the passing tread."

234
"Kosciusko's gardens?"

235
"Mammy!"

236
"Mother!"

The End


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