Up in Mabel's Room

1
The S. S. Belganic
from France was
nearing New York.

2
In olden days it took 
the flip of a whale's 
tail to upset a ship ...
but now a pretty girl's 
   smile can do it.

3
Did any of you ladies ever
divorce your husband
and then suddenly
discover you had made a 
terrible mistake? SO DID
MRS. GARRY AINSWORTH.

	... MARIE PREVOST

4
"Garry, dearest ... I thought
you were so naughty
but I've found you are 
      so nice."

5
"If I can find my husband 
in New York, I'm going
to get a credit slip for 
     our divorce."

6
"You don't mean to 
say you're going to 
scramble the same 
   egg again?"

7
"I caught him in a ladies' 
shop buying something.
He wouldn't explain
so I started to get a 
      divorce!"

8
"Sounds just like 
    a movie."

9
"This is what he bought.
Heaven only knows why
I didn't open it until
 after the divorce."

10
"-- and to think he
never got to see me
      wear it."

11
LEONARD MASON
of London, Paris,
Berlin ... and other
points "wet".

	... Paul Nicholson

12
HENRIETTA,
his sister.

	... Maud Truax

13
"Sis, the way you love
candy, you should have
married the Chocolate 
      Soldier."

14
"You're getting as 
heavy as the Rock 
 of Gibraltar."

15
"Wait til you see what
we saw! Stick around 
and I'll give you an 
   introduction."

16
"Why, Mr. Mason! When 
did you leave Paris?"

17
"Sister ... this is Miss ...
       er - er ..."

18
"... Er--er was my maiden 
name. I'm Mrs. Essington
    now ... divorced."

19
"Here's that wireless
you've been expecting 
from Garry Ainsworth."

20
 "No, thank you! One
must keep one's figure."

21
"Well ... it's my nature
to be a little robust!"

22
"My darling Harry! If
only his whiskers were 
on top of his head ...
  he'd be perfect."

23
"Your sister said that
your wire was from 
Garry Ainsworth. Very
familiar name - who
      is he?"

24
"He's just a dub architect.
Forget him ... let's talk 
       about us."

25
Among new friends Garry
Ainsworth was posing
as a bachelor. He figured
his secret marriage in Paris
was like a vaccination ....
it hadn't taken.

	... HARRISON FORD

26
Across the hall - the
office of Jimmie
Larchmont - a new 
friend of Ainsworth's.

	... Harry Myers

27
ALICIA,
Jimmy's wife ... his
Stop-and-Go signal.

	... Sylvia Breamer

28
PHYLLIS WELLS,
Unmarried .... but
not unwilling.

	... PHYLLIS HAVER

29
ARTHUR WALKERS
was so crazy about
Phyllis that he'd sit for 
hours reading an apple and
eating a book.

	... Carl Gerard

30
"We're a man shy for 
your party tonight.
Let's ask that nice 
new friend of yours,
 Garry Ainsworth."

31
"I need advice, Ainsworth.
I'm in love with Phyllis
and I haven't the nerve
      to propose."

32
"Go on ... laugh! You
don't know how a girl
can wreck a fellow's
       life!"

33
"You win ... by a tongue!"

34
"Not this map."

35
"This one!"

36
"We're celebrating our
wedding anniversary.
You simply must join
     my party."

37
"Anniversary? I thought
you said you were
married only six months 
        ago."

38
"We're not taking any 
chances. Lots of people
that wait a year never
 get to celebrate!"

39
"I know they don't!"

40
"We'll see you at the 
  party tonight."

41
"Too bad you never
married, Ainsworth.
You're the kind of 
fellow that women 
  understand."

42
"A lady calling. Says
 her name is Mabel."

43
"Tell her you found 
me dead and sent 
me to the morgue."

44
"Aren't you going to
  kiss me, Garry?"

45
"We can't do that any
more, Mabel. It - -
wouldn't be proper now
that we're not married."

46
"Come on, Garry ...
just one little kiss
from Papa to his
      Mama."

47
"Well, if you won't kiss
  me, I'll kiss you!"

48
"You're not my wife
any more! You're only
     my widow!"

49
"Don't worry! We're
going to be married 
   again, Garry."

50
"Garry Ainsworth ... you
 are going to kiss me!"

51
"We are NOT going to
be married! The same
woman will never 
divorce me twice!"

52
"Now ... my reputation's
ruined. Everybody will
think I'm a swivel-chair
        sheik!"

53
"The only way we can 
save your reputation is
to be married again ....
     right away."

54
"Mrs. Larchmont says
to tell you the party
will be at the El Rey
     Night Club."

55
"Just because you got a 
divorce you lose all 
respect for me and go
running around like a 
    single man!"

56
"I am a single man!
I didn't marry twins,
       did I?"

57
"You won't be single 
   much longer."

58
The El Rey Night Club
was one of those places
where twenty dollars
wouldn't buy enough food
to widen a worm's waistline.

59
"My uncle is bringing 
a snappy number with 
him ... and I think she's
just what the doctor 
 ordered for you."

60
"You don't know how 
thrilled I am to meet 
you, Mr. Ainsworth."

61 [in small type]
"I fixed it, didn't I? Now
     do your stuff."

62
"Nice and cool here,
     isn't it?"

63
"Not where I'm sitting,
      it isn't!"

64
  "We're supposed to be 
dancing ... not wrestling!"

65
"If I ever take you to a
dance again ... I'll make
you wear a bridle and
      blinkers."

66
"The only thing that
will ever stop me from
re-marrying you is for
some other girl to beat 
      me to it!"

67
"Phyllis has refused to 
become engaged to me ...
because she is crazy
     about you."

68
"She says she likes you
because you're pure and 
innocent .... and never 
 had a love-affair."

69
"Mabel's a peach, isn't
she? And imagine ...
she was married to 
a terrible cluck!"

70
"He beat her ... stole
her money ... deserted
her in Paris ... AND RAN
   OFF WITH ANOTHER
        WOMAN!"

71
"If I find that alley
cat I'll force him to
re-marry Mabel ....
unless he's married 
to someone else!"

72
"Give me that engage-
ment ring ... I've got
   a job for it!"

73
"Another good man 
gone wrong! Garry's 
engaged ... the poor 
      sap!"

74
"Perhaps I'll be there 
when you're married!"

75
"I've the cutest piece 
of lingerie, especially
embroidered, that
I'll send you for an
engagement present."

76
"What a beautiful ring!
It's so much larger than 
  the one my husband 
      gave me!"

77
"Marriage is such a 
gamble! My husband
was a devil! Wine, 
women and song ...
but he didn't sing 
      much!"

78
"Let's give Garry and
Phyllis a surprise
engagement party at
your house over the
     week-end."

79
"Splendid idea!"


80
By the time Garry
reached home he
was so hot a waffle
would have cooked
under his collar.

81
"Hawkins, I'm going to 
Mr. Mason's for the 
week-end. Thank
Heaven, Mabel won't 
    be there!"

Hawkins
  ... William Orlamond

82
"You can't stay here,
Mabel! I'm an engaged 
       man!"

83
"Well, you'll soon be 
    disengaged!"

84
"Please go ... I think
there's going to be a
   terrible storm!"

85
"I overheard Phyllis say her
apartment is just across the 
hall from here and that
maybe she'd come over to
say good night .... SO I'M
       HERE FIRST."

86
"You'd better go! We
have burglars here
every night about
   this time!"

87
"I just came in to say
  good night to you,
    Garry, dear."

88
"I adore you, Garry.
You're so innocent ...
     and pure."

89
"That's my valet's
kimona. He loves
girlish things!"

90
"Oh, those? They're little
novelties that my sister 
  sent me! Ash trays!"

91
"You'd better go, Phyllis ...
before the janitor drops
in to see what's coming 
      off in here."

92
"Oh, Ga-a-a-ary!"

93
"Garry, come here!"

94
"I adore you, Garry.
  You're so pure."

95
At the Mason home
the week-end party
was starting strong.

96
"I'm so miserable!
There's something 
between my Garry
and that vamp, Mabel."

97
"Thank goodness, you've
arrived, Hawkins! I'm 
  in an awful jam!"

98
"My ex-wife is here ...
and she's here for no 
       good!"

99
"Beg pardon? Your ...
      ex-what!"

100
"My ex-wife - MABEL!"

101
"I once gave my wife a
present of a er--er ...
      doo-dad!"

102
"A doo which, sir?"

103
"A doo-dad! A feminine
doo-dad! An article of
  intimate apparel!"

104
"- - and on it was
embroidered MABEL
   FROM GARRY!"

105
"What a place to 
advertise, sir!"

106
"She's threatening to show 
it to Phyllis ... just to 
break our engagement!
But, we'll fool her! I'm
going to her room and 
      steal it."

107
"If Phyllis catches you 
crawling from my 
room you'll have to
be a better explainer 
than you are an 
  architect!"

108
"You've been hanging 
on her door all day!
You're a regular door-
       knob!"

109
"You've got to go to
Mabel's room and find
that er--er .... what-
  you-may-call-it!"

110
"This is a fine engage-
ment party! Phyllis
hanging around Arthur's
neck, and Garry hanging
around Mabel's door!"

111
"You're right, dear.
But maybe they're 
going to form a 
  quartette!"

112
"Well .... don't let me
catch you trying to 
 do any singing!"

113
"We're having lovely 
weather up and down 
the halls, aren't we?"

114
"Oh, er - - er, Mrs.
Larchmont .... could
you forgive the man
you love if he did
something wrong?"

115
"If something had
happened .... a little
foolish - er - -"

116
"You mean ... some kind 
  of a little slip?"

117
"It's not exactly a slip,
      it's a - -"

118
"I've got the gadjett, sir!"

119
"This isn't the one! It
hasn't my name on it!"

120
"She has fainted! Carry
  her up to my room!"

121
"Somebody's shedding!
   Who lost this?"

122
"It doesn't fit me, sir."

123
 "Your brother is 
up in Mabel's room."

124
 "Your husband is 
up in Mabel's room."

125
"Now, Baby ... don't get 
me wrong! I was just
going around gathering 
   up the laundry!"

126
"Now I understand what 
Garry meant about the 
man I love taking a 
   little slip!"

127
"Garry knew you had 
this thing. He spoke
of it a minute ago!"

128
"Take it back to your 
other wife .... you -
     big Turk!"

129
"Honest, Baby! That
thing must have been
on the hook when I
put my coat on!"

130
"And I thought my 
 Garry so pure!"

131
"Did you get it?
 Did you get it?"

132
"A burglar's climbing up 
    in Mabel's room!"

133
"I've found the doo-funny, 
           sir!"

134
"Take it out and 
    burn it!"

135
"BURGLARS!"

136
"Burn it - hang it -
shoot it - anything!
  Get rid of it!"

137
"I dropped it, sir ....
as I was shot in the
       window!"

138
"I got him, but he
crawled back into the 
   room to die."

139
"I'll bet I know who 
 the 'burglar' is."

140
"Brother!"

141
"BROTHER!!"

142
"You're the only one 
who can afford to 
   be caught!"

143
"Just as I thought."

144
"You needn't tell me
you feel like a father 
to Mabel. Fathers
don't hide under their 
  daughter's bed!"

145
"I suppose you're here
  to beat the rugs!"

146
"Garry has taken it!"

147
"We've got to hustle and 
 find that doo-jigger!"

148
"I'm going to Garry's
room and make him
     explain."

149
"Darling, please give it
back to me. It's all I
have to remember you
since you love that
   other woman."

150
"I thought it was Garry!"

151
"I'll not let you blacken 
Garry's character to
save that bigamist!"

152
"Listen, Baby .... I can
explain everything
 so even you can
 understand it!"

153
 "You can't explain
anything to anybody!"

154
"It's too bad we didn't
find the - er - feminine
fiddle-sticks, sir. You
could wear it while your
  clothes are drying."

155
"I suppose it's Arthur's 
turn to be caught in 
   Mabel's room." 

156
"Mabel's not in her
        room." 

157
"Then I'll make sure 
she's not in Arthur's."

158
"I've got to find Garry!
I've got something 
     on him!"

159
"You're hiding something
  from me! Mabel's
probably in your room
    right now."

160
"Mabel, COME OUT!"

161
"I've got it on."

162
"What does she mean
she's got it on? What's
IT ... and where's ON?"

163
"I guess she means the -
er - er - indescribable!"

164
"Well, it looks like you've 
    joined my club."

165
"Did you see what 
      I saw?"

166
"The last time I saw 
Garry he was up in -"

167
"Go on and say it - -
'UP IN MABEL'S ROOM'!"

168
"I'm not going to be 
engaged to any man
who spends the evening 
under another woman's
       bed!"

169
"It's MY ring. I only
lent it to Garry because
I thought Phyllis loved 
         him."

170
"You can climb up to
Mabel's room, sir, and
then steal down the hall
  to your own room."

171
"Mr. Ainsworth is 
up in Mabel's room."

172
"A telegram for the 
       lady."

173
"Oh, Garry! We're still
married! The divorce
   didn't take!"

174
"We've got to explain
to them! Where is
that er--er--er - nom-
     de-plume?"

175
"Keep cool! Read this!"

176
"Jumpin' ukuleles! They've
been married all the time!"

The End

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