Speedy

1
New York, where every-
  body is in such a 
hurry that they take
Saturday's bath on Friday
so they can do Monday's 
  washing on Sunday.

2
In an old-fashioned corner 
of the city -- a section
that had never acquired
the pace of the rest of
     New York.

3
"Ladies an' Gents: On
your right is a vehicle
that has defied the rush
of civilizashun -- -- the
last horse car in New 
       York."

4
"The car is owned 
and driven by one 
of New York's and 
nature's noblemen --
   Pop Dillon."

5
"Mr. Dillon, the officials
of my railroad want 
to know if you've
decided to accept their 
offer for your track."

6
"I told you what my 
price is -- -- an' I'm
  stickin' to it."

7
"If you don't take this
offer, the chances are
 you'll get nothing!"

8
"Well, I ain't got nothin',
so if I don't get nothin' --
I won't have nothin' 
less than I've got."

9
Jane Dillon, in love with
life, her grand-daddy --
and somebody else.

10
"Well, Grand-daddy, they
  can't keep Speedy
  down -- -- he's got
   another new job."

11
"Speedy gets plenty of
jobs -- but he'll never
keep one while his mind
is full of baseball."

12
"He'll keep this one.
He said he'll own
the place in six 
    months."

13
Far away from the quiet
of Pop Dillon's neighbor-
hood, roaring fans were
cheering the Yankees on in
    a crucial game.

14
The only thing Speedy 
  required of his 
employers was that
their store be within
phoning distance of the
   Yankee Stadium.

15
"An orangeade, please."

16
"Have these delivered 
to my wife right 
away. I've got to 
square myself for 
being out all night."

17
"Get your hat and 
     coat."

18
"Have these flowers at
the boss's house in
twenty minutes -- or
 don't come back."

19
"Well, Speedy -- how's 
the new job coming
      along?"

20
"Oh, I got out of that 
job all right. I didn't
  have any trouble."

21
"Big men don't keep jobs
like that. You never
heard of Lincoln jerking
     soda water."

22
"I wish I could get rid
of my rheumatics like
 you do your jobs."

23
"Rub my neck, will
  you, Speedy?"

24
"Aw, Jane -- why worry
about losing a job on 
Saturday, when we can
go to Coney Island on
      Sunday?"

25
"Besides, you know I 
always get a job on 
     Monday."

26
"Mr. Dillon, it seems my
agent was unsuccessful
in dealing with you --
so I've come for your
rock-bottom price."

27
"Why, this price is
ridiculous for an old
contraption like yours!"

28
"That's the price I'm
going to get -- an' it
ain't a contraption --
 it's a horse car."

29
"Dillon, if you won't sell 
out -- -- perhaps there
are ways I can force
     you out!"

30
"He can't force you out,
    can he, Pop?"

31
"The folks at the City 
Hall said that as long
as my car runs once
every twenty-four hours,
the car an' track is 
       mine."

32
When a boy loses his job,
buys a new suit and 
takes a girl to Coney
Island, he's either insane
or in love -- -- and there's
   not much difference.

33
"The next stop is
Forty-second street,
    isn't it?"

34
"Say, what's the idea?
I just bought this 
       suit!"

35
"You thief! It's men
like you that make 
women afraid to wear 
     underwear."

36
"Hey, Jimmie!"

37
"Say, Jimmie, I'm broke.
Will you give us a lift
  back to the city?"

38
"Say, I'll bet there's 
enough furniture here 
for a cozy little home."

39
 "Come on, Jane, what
  do you say we get
married -- and let Pop
   live with us?"

40
"Speedy, I couldn't think
of getting married -- --
till grand-daddy's affairs
      are settled."

41
"Leave it to me, Jane --
I'll get a job in the
morning and help you
out till Pop gets what 
     he wants."

42
"Stick right on the job --
  and be courteous to 
    the customers."

43
"Say, after a customer
rides in my cab, he'll
never ride in another."

44
The hours went by --
and so did Speedy's
customers.

45
"Why don't you keep 
the door and get a 
    new car?"

46
"Go on home before yuh
see an elephant pushin' 
   a baby carriage!"

47
"Pennsylvania Station --
   and step on it!"

48
"Where's my fare?"

49
"I had to go fast -- --
I had detectives in 
       back."

50
"If you try it again,
you'll have stripes in 
      front!"

51
"We missed our man!
Drive us to the 
Municipal Ferry as
fast as you can!"

52
"We'll fix that. While
we're with you,
there's no speed limit!"

53
"Say, you crazy nut -- --
where did you learn to
       drive?"

54
"I didn't. It's a gift."

55
"If you get tough with 
me, I'll run you in 
    right now!"

56
"I can't be bothered --
tell the guys inside."

57
"Arrest this man! He
almost killed me in 
  the back seat!"

58
"One more ticket and
  you go to jail."

59
Babe Ruth, the idol
of American boys --
little and big.

60
"Hey, taxi!"

61
"Drive me to the Yankee 
Stadium -- in a hurry!"

62
"Gee, Babe, you've
done more for base-
ball than cheese did 
 for Switzerland."

63
"Gosh, Babe -- this is
the proudest moment
   of my life!"

64
"If you don't look out,
  it'll be the last."

65
"Even when you strike 
out, you miss 'em close."

66
"I don't miss 'em half 
 as close as you do."

67
"Step on it -- or you'll 
     have me late!"

68
"If I ever want to
commit suicide I'll
    call you."

69
"Want to see the game?"

70
"I'll be back as soon 
  as I park my cab."

71
"Attaboy, Babe!"

72
"So this is the way 
you drive my cab!"

73
"Give me the hat, the
money, and everything
connected with the job."

74
"You said you wanted
everything -- -- you
      got it."

75
"Carter, I've investigated 
Dillon's affairs -- and 
I've discovered a way
 to force him out."

76
"If the car doesn't run 
once in twenty-four 
hours, Dillon will lose
    his railroad."

77
"You send a gang down
to start a fight on the 
car and get rid of the 
old man in the mix-up."

78
"Then drive the car 
 away and get rid 
      of it!"

79
"What's the matter, 
Speedy -- are you
      sick?"

80
"I'm all right, Pop --
but how about you?"

81
"Pop, you're a sick 
 man -- you need a 
     vacation."

82
"Why don't you take a
rest for a few days --
and let me drive the 
        car?"

83
At night, Pop's car was 
used as a clubhouse by
the old tradesmen of
the neighborhood.

84
"What's the trouble
       now?"

85
"There's something 
crooked. I got three
aces an' he's got four."

86
"Speedy, now that
you're drivin' the car,
  you must have it 
here on time for our
      games."

87
"I'm not so sure that
you'll have the car 
to play in very long."

88
"I got a tip that there's
a tough gang coming
down to take Pop's car."

89
"Boys, if anybody tries to
take this car, we ought
to have somethin' to
   say about it!"

90
"Us boys fought in the 
Civil War an' our old
password was -- -- it
smells like rain."

91
"If you get in trouble,
pass the word 'It
smells like rain'; Jed'll
blow his bugle -- an'
we'll all be there."

92
"In twenty years, I ain't
fought with nobody but
my wife -- an' I'm right 
      on edge!"

93
The next morning found
  Speedy driving the
car -- conscious that at
any moment he might be
    unconscious.

94
"Catch that man! He
got away with our
    pay roll!"

95
"It smells like rain."

96
"It smells like rain."

97
"IT SMELLS LIKE RAIN!"

98
"It smells very much
     like rain!"

99
The casualties of the
fight were eight
broken noses, a
splintered wooden leg,
a cracked glass eye and
a sprained wishbone.

100
The next morning the
sun was almost afraid 
to come out -- because 
it could still see stars.

101
 "Pop, the car's been 
stolen -- and it hasn't 
  run in twenty-two 
       hours!"

102
"We've got to find it
and bring it back by 
ten o'clock -- or your 
  railroad's gone!"

103
An hour later -- miles 
  away on the other 
  side of the city.

104
"Mad dog! Mad dog!"

105
"Is Speedy back, yet?"

106
"The kid's got the car 
an' he's drivin' across
 town! Have the gang
     stop him!"

107
"If he gets by me, you
guys wreck him before
he hits Dillon's track!"

108
"Here he comes! Stick
right beside me and
he'll have to stop!"

109
"We'll wreck him here!
Tear up the planks!"

110
"Mr. Dillon, I thought
things over -- and I've
decided to meet your 
       price."

111
"Did you hear what 
he said, Speedy?"

112
"Pop's slightly deaf and
he can't hear a word
you say -- -- till you
 get up to a hundred
      thousand.

113
"I'll bring you a check 
    in the morning."

114
"Jane, what do you 
say we take the horse 
car -- -- and drive to
   Niagara Falls?"

THE END


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