Running Wild

1
There's one inventor 
 who should have 
been boiled in oil.

2
Elmer Finch was a timid
 soul - - he had been
    married twice.

3
"Good morning, Early
 Birds. Something tells
 me that all my pupils
 are bright and alert this
       morning."

4
Elmer's daughter Mary
 was all he had left to
remind him of his happy 
    first marriage.

5
Elmer had a stepson also
 -- but that wasn't
   Elmer's fault.

6
"Ma!"

7
Elmer's first mistake was
    his second wife.

8
"What's the idea of all
 this racket - - are you
 trying to shake the
    house apart?"

9
"What do you mean by
 disturbing Junior's rest?
 You know he's a 
    delicate child."

10
"You brute! Don't you
 dare strike my child!"

11
"Sic 'im!"

12
"Throw him a bone!"

13
"Even the dog knows a
 boob when he sees one."

14
"Does your step-mother
 know we're going to 
 the Lion's Ball Satur-
     day night?"

15
"- - and wait 'till you
 see the new dress
 Daddy has promised me."

16
"Ma!"

17
"What do you mean by
 keeping Junior waiting
  for his breakfast?"

18
"If you're so fond of her,
 Dave Harvey, why don't
 you ask your father to
 give Elmer a raise in
       salary?"

19
"It's about time he had
 a promotion - - he's
 been a bill clerk in your
 father's office for
    twenty years."

20
"Don't forget that new 
 dress you promised me
 for Saturday night, 
       Daddy."

21
"Why -- don't you
    remember?"

22
"What's the matter with
 the one you've got on?"

23
"I'm mad this morning.
 I'll get the money for
 a dress -- or know the
      reason why."

24
"Do you think Mary
 could have a new dress
 -- just a little one?"

25
"My boy and I wear rags
 -- you and Mary dress
  like millionaires!"

26
"Look! He's goin' to
      stab me!"

27
"Oh, Chester - I never
 realized what a won-
 derful husband you
    were to me."

28
"My pa was a man - -
 he wasn't a sap like
        you."

29
"She hit me when I 
  wasn't lookin'!"

30
"Just for that - - you'll
    get no new dress!"

31
"I guess my father has
 something to say about
         that!"

32
"Him? Since when has
 he had a say about
      anything?"

33
"Applesauce!"

34
"I don't blame them for
 not respecting you - -
 you don't deserve any 
       respect!"

35
"I'm sorry - - I didn't
 mean it - - and I don't
 want to go to the old
     ball anyway."

36
"But you could be such
 a big man Daddy - -
  if you'd only try!"

37
"Why you could even
 be Sales Manager at
 the factory if you'd
   just demand it."

38
"Well! Are you going
 to be late for work?"

39
"Remind me to give
 Finch a shake-down -
 he's not been tending
  to business lately."

40
"Tell Finch I'm expecting
 a buyer by the name 
 of Johnson - - he's in
 town with the Lion's
      Convention."

41
"Johnson has always been
 a customer of Amos
 Barker's - - but I'm going
 to make a fight for his
       business."

42
"Be on the lookout for a
 Mr. Johnson - - he's a
 big buyer, and his order
 means a million dollars
      to the firm."

43
"I'd like to land Johnson's
 contract myself - I could
 live on the commission
  the rest of my life!"

44
"I've been expecting you,
 Mr. Johnson. You see --
 I - - I - - I'm the Sales
        Manager."

45
"I'd like to see your
   1927 price list."

46
"This is your price list
       for 1923."

47
"It should be right here
 some place - - I saw it
    only last month."

48
"Say - - do you think
 I'd do business with an
 inefficient idiot like
          you!"

49
"If you're the Sales-
 manager, the owner of
 this place must be a
      half-wit!"

50
"Of all the trick joints
 I ever saw - - this is
     the funniest."

51
"Who was that man?"

52
"Him? Why - - he - -
 he's a -- a fire inspec-
 tor - - he wanted to
 see if our firecrackers
    were fireproof."

53
"I'll see you later, Finch
 - - I may start some
   fireworks myself."

54
"I'm through trying to
 collect that bill from
 Amos Barker - - he
 kicked me down three
  flights of stairs!"

55
"It's Finch's fault - - he
 didn't get a receipt for
   that bill of goods."

56
"Is Finch responsible
    for this too?"

57
"Yes - - and he can
 collect it for all of
       me - -"

58
"Remind me to take up
 this Finch matter at
 the directors' meeting
    this afternoon."

59
"Mr. Finch, have you
 had a raise in salary in
 the twenty years you've
       been here?"

60
"That's a darned shame
 - - and I'm going to
 speak to my father
      about it."

61
"Say, Pop, why don't
 you give Finch a raise?
 He's been here twenty
        years."

62
"Why this sudden interest
        in Finch?"

63
"I'm going to marry his
       daughter."

64
"You are not!"

65
"Perhaps you're right,
 son - - give me a few
 minutes to think it over."

66
"I've got it all fixed for
     you, Mr. Finch."

67
"As soon as I leave, go
 right in and demand 
     your rights."

68
"Yes, I've decided about
 Finch - - and I've also
 decided to cool your 
 young love by putting
     you to work."

69
"Lady Luck, do your
       stuff!"

70
"Well, what do you want?"

71
"Well sir - - y'see - - I've
 been here goin' on pro-
 motion - - and I thought
 it was about time I had
    twenty years - -"

72 [text in small type starting with "how"]
"-- I mean -- how about a
 little raise -- maybe?"

73
"Did you hear that,
 Todd? He wants a 
      raise!"

74
"Finch, I can't give you 
 a raise just now - - but
 I do want to promote
         you."

75
"I'll give you an easy 
 job - - all you have to
 do is collect this bill
   from Amos Barker."

76
At the Elite Theatre, the
  Lions and their wives
were being entertained by
plain and fancy vaudeville.

77
"Ladies and gentlemen -
 it is my pleasure this
 afternoon to demonstrate
 to you the power of
    hypnotism - -"

78
"-- for my first dem-
 onstration I will need
 a couple of young men
  from the audience."

79
"I've told you I won't
 pay this bill! Now get
 out before I throw you
          out!"

80
"I'll wring the neck of
 the next bill collector
 that comes in here!"

81
"WELL -- WHAT DO
    YOU WANT?"

82
"I -- I -- I'm just waiting
     for a street car."

83
"I need one more man."

84
"I shall now prove to
 you the power of mind
     over matter."

85
"You are Little Lord
     Fauntleroy."

86
"You are a roaring 
       lion!"

87
"I'm a lion!"

88
"Ring down the curtain!"

89
"Stop him! Don't let 
   him get away!"

90
"I'm a lion!"

91
"You're going to pay
 this bill, and pay it 
         now!"

92
"You're a crook and a
 cheat - - and a lot of
 other things I can't 
      remember!"

93
"I want that dough now
 - - and I want it in 
         cash!"

94
"I'm a lion!"

95
"Why didn't you tell me
     that before?"

96
"Here's my contract - -
 I'll do business with a
 Brother Lion any day."

97
"-- and so, if we are
 to operate efficiently,
 we must get rid of
 Finch and all the other
       deadwood."

98
"Finch! How dare you
 come here in this
 drunken condition!"

99
"Sit down -- you bunch
    of numb-skulls!"

100
"Listen, cripple-brains
 - - keep your mouth
 shut and give your
 ears some exercise!"

101
"If we're going to have
 efficiency in this joint,
 we've gotta get rid of
 Harvey and the rest of
     you fatheads."

102
"What you need in this
 dump is a go-getter --
  who goes and gets!"

103
"Where did you get this
       contract?"

104
"See you later - - I'm
 going home now to
 settle a few family
      affairs."

105
"I'm a lion!"

106
"It's too bad your hus-
 band isn't a Lion - -
 you'll miss a good time
 at the ball Saturday
        night."

107
"I'm a lion!"

108
"I'm a lion!"

109
"When you passed out
 - - you did me a dirty
        trick."

110
"Come down and fight 
    like a man!"

111
"From now on I'm the
 big noise in this house!"

112
"And if me or my 
 daughter wants a new
 dress we'll get it!"

113
"You wouldn't hurt him
  would you, Elmer?"

114
"Ma!"

115
"This is gonna hurt YOU
  more than it does ME!"

116
"I'm a lion!"

117
"You know - since father
 joined the Lions he's a
      changed man."

118
"The next time you're
 hypnotized - - try and
  act like a rabbit!"

119
"Daddy, I'm crazy about
 this beautiful dress you
       bought me."

120
"You can't fool me - -
 after all the wonderful
 things you've done."

121
"I said you could be a
 great man - - if you
 only made up your mind."

122
"Elmer, you're so 
   wonderful!"

123
"You can't find good
 husbands like me lay-
 ing around loose every
         day!"

124
"Mr. Finch!"

125
"Well, Elmer old boy -
 I've brought you your
 commission on that
     contract."

126
"Just a minute - where's
     the contract?"

127
"I thought I told you to
 stay away from this 
        house."

128
"Listen here, Harvey - -
 I want your son to keep
 away from my daughter
 - he's not good enough 
        for her."

129
"Maybe you'll change
 your mind, Finch, when
 I make my boy a junior
       partner."

130
"Elmer!"

131
"Can I come in, ma?"

132
"Ask your father - - he
 knows what's best for 
         you."

133
"This is goin' to be the
 end of a perfect day!"

134
You can't keep a good
      man down.


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