The Patent Leather Kid

1
New York - 1917.

2
"I've got ten bucks that
 says Sharkey won't
 even muss the Patent
  Leather Kid's hair."

3
"When Sharkey gets
 through with the Kid,
 it'll take four barbers
 to smooth his hair!"

4
"Even if he is a dude -
   the Kid can fight!"

5
From the sidewalks of
 New York -- Bright
as its white lights and
lively as its traffic --
came Curley Callahan.
      ....Molly O'Day

6
"You oughta drive
     a mule!"

7
"Awright, get inta yer
       harness!"

8
"Aw, go buy yerself
   some peanuts!"

9
From Fifth Avenue,
 came Hugo Breen -
polished, polite and not
too particular.
    ...Lawford Davidson

10
"Sharkey .... hand him
 a pair of patent leather 
          eyes!"

11
"Why does everyone
 want Sharkey to win?"

12
"It isn't Sharkey - it's
 anybody who can
 knock some of the
 conceit out of the Kid."

13
Jake Stuke, the Kid's
 manager, who took
sixty percent of every-
thing the Kid got --
except the punches.
  . . . Matthew Betz

14
Puffy Kinch, his trainer -
 the only person in all
the world who really loved
the Kid.
          ... Arthur Stone

15
Molasses - his sparring
 partner - had taken
everything from the 
Kid except a black eye.
     ... Raymond Turner

16
"How many times have
 I told ya to quit smokin'
 in this dressin' room?"

17
Out of Hell's Kitchen --
 hard-boiled -- with a lot
of steam --- had come
The Patent Leather Kid!
... RICHARD BARTHELMESS

18
"Hey, Beautiful - you're
 gonna get yer face
      lifted!"

19
"Good night, Kid --
 you'll be sleepin' when
      I leave!"

20
"In this corner --
 Battling Sharkey -"

21
"- The Patent Leather
         Kid!"

22
"C-c-clean him up,
 K-k-kid --- like
 s-s-soap never did!"

23
"That's what he's gonna
      do to you!"

24
"Don't be funny!"

25
"Hey, Sharkey! Knock
     'im cold!"

26
"I wanna see you 
    outside."

27
"Where do the fighters 
      come out?"

28
"Aw, let's see how
 they look with their
     clothes on."

29
"Roll in the gasoline
 can and dust off the
     other seat!"

30
"Pardon me, are you
 acquainted with this
       lady?"

31
"Who's the John?"

32
"What do you mean -
   you cheap pug!"

33
"Lissen -- you keep
 out o' fights unless
   I manage 'em!"

34
"This ain't a fight --
  it's a pleasure!"

35
"Lissen, our contract
 says -- no skirts!"

36
"Tell it to Sweeney!"

37
"From now on you're
     my girl."

38
"I'll tell the world."

39
The Bon Ton Cafe --
 in the days of the
shimmy --- where
you were more danced
against than dancing.

40
"I suppose this comes
 under the head of
    road work?"

41
"Lissen, you're my
 manager - not my
      nurse!"

42
"Y' need a nurse to
 keep ya away from
  skirts like her."

43
"Lissen, Kid - a dame'll
 ruin a fighter quicker
     than lumbago."

44
"With a face like yours,
 how'd you learn so
 much about women?"

45
"Say, Stuke, don't
 fighters never marry?"

46
"Ah, go buy yerself
   some peanuts!"

47
The training quarters -
  where they put the 
high polish on the
 Patent Leather Kid.

48
"Lissen, Don One, this
 joint's for sluggin' -
   not for huggin'!"

49
"If ya keep on kissin'
 that skirt, you'll end
 up kissin' the canvas."

50
"Come on! Quit clownin'
 and blow this skirt outa
          here."

51
"Will ya quit callin' 
 me dame a skirt?"

52
"Say, Stuke, what's a 
       set-up?"

53
"What's it to ya?"

54
"Nothin', only the paper
 says the Kid's gonna
 fight another one of
    your set-ups."

55
"Hit me! Go on!
    Hit me!"

56
"Have you two gotta
 be knocked cold to
 keep peace around
       here?"

57
"Ya got a pretty nose -
 but keep it outa my
      business."

58
"I can't have no dame
 interferin' with my
   work - get me?"

59
"All he n-n-needs is
 a l-l-little drink."

60
Good Friday - 1917.

61
"Did ya read the 
     news?"

62
"Yeh! It says here the
 Skeeter'll knock me
  out in two rounds."

63
"I suppose ya didn't
 read the United
 States has gone to
       war?"

64
"Sure, I seen it on the
 front page - but can
 ya see the Skeeter
 knockin' me out in
     any round?"

65
"What kinda uniform
  you gonna wear?"

66
"I ain't quite made up
 my mind which one
 I'll look best in."

67
"Gee! Can't ya see
 yerself marchin' down
 the avenoo - - bugles
 blowin' - - everybody
 sayin', 'There goes the
  Patent Leather Kid!'"

68
For the first time in
  the Kid's life, his
clothes were out of
style; the whole nation
was dressed in the
    colors of war.

69
"I love that dance - -
 it makes me feel like
      a soldier!"

70
"Say, Kid - when are
  you gonna enlist?"

71
"Lay off! I never seen a
 dame so anxious to get
 her sweetie bumped off!"

72
"You re gonna fight when
 I tell ya an' not until!
 I'm your manager - -
        get me?"

73
"What are ya tryin' to
 do - make a slacker
      outa him?"

74
"Suppose ya got yer
 hands shot off - -
 you'd never be the
      champ!"

75
"An' if that poison gas
 burnt his eyes out,
 you wouldn't even
 buy a pencil from
       'im!"

76
"Say, quit talkin' about
 hands shot off an' eyes
  burnt out, will ya?"

77
"Pardon me, Miss
 General, can I have
    this dance?"

78
"Sure, Soldier!"

79
"If you want to fight -
    get a uniform!"

80
War had come! Flags
 waved - drums beat -
men marched - but the
Kid still wore the fighting
togs of shrewd Jake
       Stuke.

81
"Better go easy and
 feel 'im out for three
   or four rounds."

82
Just outside, pleading
 the cause of a bigger
       fight - -

83
"While two slackers are
 fighting for the filthy
 dollar over here - -"

84
"- - our brave boys
 are fighting for their
 country over there!"

85
"I told ya to take
     it easy."

86
"How can I? - with this
 mob callin' me a slacker
       and a bum!"

87
"Uncle Sam needs you -
 and YOU - and YOU!"

88
"P-p-please, Kid, come
      out of it."

89
"Cut the sob stuff,
 an' bring 'im to!"

90
"What happened?"

91
"Ya got patriotic an'
 listened to the music -
 He knocked ya cold -
 That's what happened!"

92
"The Skeeter! The
 Skeeter! That's the
    guy I want!"

93
"Buck up, Kid. Lots of
 good guys have been
 knocked out an' come
        back."

94
"You'll be champ if
 you'd forget them
 damn bands an' that
  patriotic bunk!"

95
"Don't fall for the war
 stuff, Kid - it's better to
 be a live champ than
    a dead soldier."

96
"Salute again!"

97
"Gee, Breen - - in a
 uniform - - and an
     officer!"

98
"That skirt of yours sure
   falls for uniforms."

99
"Hello, Kid. What round
 did ya stop the Skeeter 
          in?"

100
"What ya tryin' to do,
       kid me?"

101
"You remember my
 friend, Mr. Breen?"

102
"Yeh, I remember 'im -
 lousy with dough, but
   afraid to fight."

103
"Afraid to fight? Where's
  your soldier clothes?"

104
"Aw - take yer soldier
  boy an' go to h - !"

105
When Curley failed him,
 the Kid knew just
where he could find
two pals he could 
  always count on.

106
"Cast yo' eyes on dis
  chocolat soldier!"

107
"Do they send all us
 guys one of these?"

108
"S-s-sure - you'll g-g-get
  one - just w-w-wait."

109
"Ah didn't wait fo'
 mine - Ah enlisted!"

110
"I d-d-didn't wait for
 mine, n-n-neither -
 it c-c-caught up
     with me!"

111
"Gee, Puffy, if they'd
 only fight this war
  with gloves - -"

112
"- but when it comes
 to guns, an' gas, an'
    bayonets - -"

113
"I was goin' to 'phone
 ya, Baby - I sure need
          ya!"

114
"What's the matter, Kid?
   Something happen?"

115
"They got Puffy in the
  draft this morning!"

116
"The first draft, boys!
 Gee - don't they look
        swell!"

117
"Here comes the flag!
  Take off yer cap!"

118
"Kid - - lovin' yer
 country is like lovin'
 yer mother - - ya
 just can't help it."

119
"All my country ever
 done for me was get
   me knocked out."

120
"Kid - - kiss me!"

121
"Did your female manager
    walk out on ya?"

122
"We're through! From
 now on I'll do what 
       ya say."

123
"Here's somethin' I
 fergot to give ya -
 I been carryin' it
 aroun' fer a coupla
       days."

124
"But you said you'd
 keep me out of it!"

125
"Say, if I wasn't a sick
 guy I couldn't get
   exempted myself."

126
"Yep. Ya got a new
 manager and his
 name is Uncle
    Samuel!"

127
"Remember - when they
 play the Star Spangled
 Banner - don't stand
 goofy an' let some
 German knock ya out!

128
"So long, soldier!"

129
A few days later the
   Kid found himself
in a new kind of
  training camp.

130
"W-w-well, Kid - -
 we're still t-t-trainin'
    t-t-together."

131
"I have orders to fill
 my company from
  the recruits."

132
"Fall in!"

133
"All you d-d-do in this
 army is f-f-fall in and
     f-f-fall out."

134
"L-l-look who's here!
 W-w-we're in f-f-for
       it now!"

135
"Well - - the Patent
 Leather Kid! So the
 army got you at last!"

136
"Sergeant, we can use
 this man - he loves
      to fight!"

137
"Hey, G-g-general - -
 y-y-you don't need
 another guy - d-d-do
        you?"

138
"Of all the a-a-armies
 in the world - we had
  to g-g-get in his!"

139
End of 
 First Part

140
Ground out of the mills
 of the training camps,
there came to France that
gigantic and determined
fighting machine - - -
    the A. E. F.!

141
Somewhere in France -
 a rest area on the
  way to the front.

142
"Voila les Americains!"

143
"Let's g-g-grab off a
 c-c-couple of these
     Damn Zells!"

144
"Don't mention skirts
 to me - I'm through."

145
The "Y" hut - - where
 a buck private
dared speak to his top
     sergeant.

146
"Just tired - sometimes
 I could go to sleep
    standin' up."

147
"Take care of yourself,
 Curley - you're doing 
       too much."

148
"I can't do too much.
 These boys are here
 today - - and gone
      tomorrow."

149
"Did ya ever run across
 the Patent Leather Kid
     in the Army?"

150
"Are you still worried
 about that slacker?"

151
"Gee, I'd love to see
       the Kid."

152
"Why don't you forget
 him - he's not worth it."

153
"Now I know why ya
 came to France - -
 just to be with him!"

154
"Attention!"

155
"Please, Breen - - he
 didn't mean nothin'."

156
"I'm sorry - but discipline
 in the Army must be
      maintained."

157
"Y-y-you're just the
 k-k-kind of a d-d-dame
 who'd put a g-g-guy on 
      the bum!"

158
"But, Puffy, ya know
    I love him!"

159
"Y-y-your kind d-d-don't
         love!"

160
"Listen, you little rough
 neck - you're going to
 learn to respect your
   superior officer."

161
"A month in the guard-
 house will take that
 East Side fighting out
       of you."

162
"We're moving up!"

163
"Assemble your men
     at once!"

164
"You'd like to go to the
 guardhouse - but you're
 going up to the front!"

165
"You'll get all the
 fighting you want - if
 you've got the nerve."

166
"Ain't ya g-g-goin' to
 say g-g-good-bye to
     C-C-Curley?"

167
"Do ya think I'm a sap?"

168
"Here w-w-we go!"

169
"I wish I was in the
     guardhouse."

170
"Gee! I should'a said
 good-bye to Curley -
 I may never see her 
        again."

171
Out of the Darkness -
  into the Dawn - -

172
- - and through the
Dawn - into the Night.

173
"Gee, Puffy - I'm scared
        stiff!"

174
"F-F-For the l-l-luva
 Mike, quit braggin'
 how b-b-brave ya
      ain't."

175
"Th-Th-This is n-n-nothin' --
 at d-d-dawn we g-g-go over."

176
"F-F-Forget it, Kid - -
 you ain't the only
 g-g-guy in this army
  that's s-s-scared."

177
Dawn - The Zero Hour -
 Engines of Death - -
Men - Guns - and Hell
    just beyond.

178
"I can't go through
 with it - me legs is
    givin' out!"

179
"Quit s-s-squawkin' -
  be brave like me."

180
"Scouts from the first
 sector report the
 Americans advancing."

181
"Hold that line with
 as few men possible
 and retreat to this
       sector."

182
"Puffy - - Puffy - -"

183
"S-s-snap outa it, Kid -
 we gotta f-f-fight now,
      or go nuts!"

184
"T-t-them m-m-machine
 guns is cuttin' our
 outfit to p-p-pieces! -
  L-L-Let's get 'em!"

185
"K-K-Keep your head
 d-d-down! I'll g-g-get
        'em!"

186
"Puffy - Puffy - Hey,
         Puff."

187
"I'm g-g-goin', Kid - -
   g-g-give 'em hell!"

188
"They got ya Puff, they
 got ya - but they won't
    get no one else."

189
"See if there's an opening
 on the other side, but
     keep in close."

190
"I'm wedged in - -
  I can't get out."

191
"Get out from under -
    here I come."

192
The "Y" Hut - where
 these same feet once
     had danced.

193
"Which is the next 
   urgent case?"

194
"Another hopeless case."

195
"He's mine - don't you
 understand - he's mine!"

196
"I am only human - -
 I cannot give him life."

197
"Ya gotta operate on
  him - - ya gotta!"

198
"Docteur, nous n'avons
    plus d'ether."

199
"What did she say?"

200
"There is no ether!"

201
"Ya mean - he might -
      wake up?"

202
"Not in this world!"

203
"Don't let 'im die - -
 please don't let 'im
         die!"

204
"Where are we, Baby -
      in Hell?"

205
"No, Kid - - we're half
 way through - - but
 hang on! Hang on!"

206
"Ya gotta live, Kid - ya
  gotta live - for me."

207
"I love ya, Baby - -
     I love ya!"

208
"Hang on, Kid - -
    hang on!"

209
Months later...in
 a village as yet
unmarred by the
 scars of war.

210
"Try to move your
 hand - - like this."

211
"I can't Doc ... I can't."

212
"Did he mean I'll never
     move again?"

213
"No, honey - he meant -
         maybe."

214
"Well, Baby, I guess I'm
 done ... I got the K. O.
        for good."

215
"Never mind, Kid - when
 we get back to New 
 York. I'll make enough
 money for both of us."

216
"Say! Do I look like the
 kinda guy who'd let a
    dame keep me?"

217
"Try and stop me! Put
 up yer mitts if ya think
      yer so good."

218
"How can a guy win
 an argument with a 
  dame like you?"

219
"The Doc just counted
  me out, Molasses."

220
"Say - you ain't seen 
    nothin' yet."

221
"Lotta birds in dis Army
 don't know nothin'
 'bout shootin' craps."

222
"Ah'm goin' - might be
 some more medals in
     dat bunch!"

223
"When I could salute
 my flag - I wouldn't -"

224
"- now that I wanna -
      I can't."

225
"Salute for me, Baby!
   Salute for me!"

226
"Oh, God - - I wanna
 move! I gotta move!"


THE END

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