My Best Girl

[* = reconstructed title]

1 
"The stock girl will
 be right up with more 
    of these pans."

2
"I'll be back in five 
 minutes -- here's your 
   chance to be a 
     salesgirl."

3
"Here's your time card,
 Grant. You'll work in the
 stock room with Maggie
     Johnson here."

4
"I thought you wanted
    the exercise!"

5
"Open this crate of 
 mouse traps -- there's 
   a rush on them."

6
"You know, you're
  awfully dumb."

7
"I may take you in 
 hand and try to make
 something out of you."

8
Robert E. Merrill, owner
 of the great chain of
five and ten cent stores.

9
"- - and it's perfectly
 ridiculous to postpone
 the announcement of
 Joe's engagement any 
        longer!"

10
"Millicent is a charming 
 girl - and her family is
   as well known as my 
          own."

11
"Well, Millicent dear,
  how was the dog 
       show?"

12
"Well Joe, how was
 the first day at 
    the store?"

13
"Great, Dad! My name 
 is Joe Grant - - and
 I'm the dumbest stock 
  boy in the world!"

14
"Don't you know our
 engagement is a dark
 secret until I've made
 some progress at the 
        store?"

15
"Joe Grant seems to 
 be making quite a hit
 in the store, doesn't
     he, Maggie?"

16
"What do you think 
 this is -- a non-stop 
       flight?"

17
"Joe - - I have a
 trade-last for you."

18
"I heard the manager 
 say you were a very 
 efficient young man."

19
"That's because you've 
  taught me so much 
  about the business, 
        Maggie."

20
"Now tell me your
 trade-last, Joe."

21
"Well, I know one 
 of the Merrills thinks
 you're the finest little 
   kid in the store."

22
"Let's find a softer 
 seat on this bucking 
       bronco!"

23
"I wonder who busted 
   up my throne!"

24
"Would you like to 
 see a picture of 
    my family?"

25
  "This is where we 
 live -- it's the swellest 
   house on Goat Hill."

26
"I've been to the 
 loveliest funeral, Pa."

27
"I haven't had such 
 a good cry since 
   our wedding."

28
"Who died, anyway?"

29
"I can't remember the 
 name -- but it was the 
  nicest funeral I've
  attended this week."

30
"It's been a long, hard
 day - but I feel I've 
     done my duty."

31
"Liz, you ain't going
 out with that sporty
 Nick Powell again,
      are you?"

32
"He really ain't fit 
  company for you, 
dearie - honest, he 
      ain't."

33
"I'm a pretty good cook, 
 Joe -- would you like to
 take pot luck and have 
    supper with us?"

34
"You'll like my family -
   we live sort of a
      quiet life."

35
"My life is my own -
 and I'll live it my 
      own way!"

36
"Oh, I forgot! Liz belongs
 to a dramatic club and
 they're rehearsing their
        new show."

37
"I'm so glad to see 
 you, Mr. Powell --
 you're just in time 
  for the big fight 
       scene!"

38
"He's the villain!"

39
"Sorry, Liz - I can't keep
 our date - some important
 business just came up --"

40
"What a lovely costume!
 You look exactly like
     a policeman!"

41
"He's a swell actor --
 his uncle knows Lon
      Chaney!"

42
"I'm afraid they'll be
 rehearsing quite a while 
 yet. Would you mind
 making it some other
       evening?"

43*
"- just a little family
 dinner at the Mayfair
 Club in honor of Joe's
 birthday. Will you come?"

44*
"What a glorious surprise
 for Joe and Millicent!
 I've invited all their 
 friends this evening to
 announce their engagement."

45
"Aren't you a little 
  hasty, my dear?"

46
"Joe has fulfilled your
 conditions. He's won
 promotion at the store -
 and without the help 
    of your name."

47
"I didn't think you'd 
 want to lunch with me 
 any more, Joe - now 
 that you're my boss."

48
"You bet I would, 
 Maggie! Why, this
 little cafe has it
 all over the Ritz!"

49
"He ought to read
 some of Merrill's
  famous slogans."

50
"I have a surprise 
  for you, Joe."

51
"Joe will be here
 shortly. The poor boy
 is probably hurrying
 home from the store."

52
"Joe Grant, you're too
 extravagant! You'll end 
  up in the poorhouse
         sure."

53
"Oh, Pop, I'm in an awful 
 fix! Send Maggie down 
  to the Night Court
      right away!"

54
"Liz is pinched!"

55
"Where's Maggie? Can't 
 she do something 
    about it?"

56
"Maggie was never this 
 late before! I can't 
 understand what's keeping 
         her."

57
"It must be wonderful
 to spend an evening
 like that after supper."

58
"Supper! That's a great 
   idea! Let's eat!"

59
"I've never stayed 
 out before, Joe --
 I've got to cook 
   the supper."

60
"I might telephone
 home and ask Liz
 to get the supper
     for once."

61
"Of course, if I
 telephone - they'll
 probably make me
   come home."

62*
"You remember Merrill's 
 slogan - 'we are all
  one happy family'?"

63*
"Let's take him at his 
 word and go up to 
 his house for dinner!"

64*
"Why, Joe - this really 
 is the Merrill home!"

65*
"Well, I'll go as far 
    as you will."

66*
"I'll go as far as you will."

67* [small type]
"I'll go as far as you will."

68*
"The Merrill's aren't 
  home, are they?"

69*
"We work at the Merrill 
 store - would it be all
  right for us to have 
     dinner here?"

70
"Say, mister, are you
 sure it's all right for
 the Merrill employees
     to eat here?"

71
"Oh, yes, Miss! One of 
 the employees dines 
  here almost every 
       night."

72
"I'm afraid that something's 
      happened to Joe."

73
"I've an idea! Let's
 play we're Mr. and 
   Mrs. Merrill!"

74
"You look so tired, 
darling -- did you
have a hard day at
   the office?"

75
"I've cooked all the 
 things you like for 
 supper - beefsteak -
 and muffins - and
 strawberry pie --"

76
"This lobster sundae
 is rawther good, isn't
  it -- Mr. Merrill?"

77
"It certainly is --
   Mrs. Merrill."

78
"They may have swell 
 waiters - but the food 
     is terrible!"

79
"But don't you worry,
 Joe dear -- I can
 cook better than that."

80
"Maggie, there's something 
     I must tell you."

81
"You wouldn't have kissed 
   me if I wasn't your 
       best girl."

82
"Maggie, you are my
     best girl."

83
"Why, Joe, didn't you 
     get my note?"

84
"Maggie - this is my 
 father and mother."

85
"Joe, you terrible boy -
 to stay away from our
  engagement party!"

86
"I thought he was Joe 
 Grant - - I - I didn't
 know he was your 
       son!"

87
"If you don't mind -
 I think I have a 
   headache --"

88
"I must follow her,
 Millicent -- I've broken 
     her heart!"

89
"Liz is in jail, 
 Maggie - - what 
   can we do?"

90
"Please let her go,
 Judge -- she's honest -
   honest she is!"

91
"We're such a happy 
 family, Judge -- don't 
 break my mother's 
      heart!"

92
"If you'd come home, 
 Maggie, this wouldn't 
    have happened!"

93
"Don't worry, Ma --
 I'll never leave you 
 again as long as 
     I live!"

94
"Maggie dear, I'm
 not going to marry 
    Millicent!"

95
"I love you, Maggie --
 will you be my wife?"

96
"So Maggie's been 
 running around with 
 young Merrill, eh?"

97
"Rich men's sons don't
 chase after shop girls
   for the exercise."

98
"My wife is convinced 
 that your marriage to
 Joe would ruin his 
       career."

99
"Joe has agreed to leave
 for Honolulu immediately
 until this scandal blows
          over."

100
"I've discovered, however,
 that he has made reser-
 vations for Mr. and Mrs. 
        Merrill."

101
"I wondered whether
 you would rather go 
 with Joe -- or accept 
        this."

102
"We're leaving for
 Honolulu, Maggie --
 we'll be married on
     the ship --"

103
"We'll sail away to
 Paradise, Maggie --
 and leave all the 
  world behind --"

104
"'Sail away to 
 Paradise!' - - 
 did you read that 
   in a book?"

105
"I don't have to marry
 you now -- I've got 
  what I was after!"

106
"I'm sorry, Maggie - -
 he should have known
 you wouldn't take it."

107
"-- and you never fooled
 me for a minute -- I knew
 all along you were Joe
        Merrill!"

108
"What an easy mark 
 you were for a gold 
  digger like me!"

109
"-- and I knew all
 about that other 
    girl too!"

110
"She can have you --
   I've got this!"

111
"Why don't you go 
 back to Millicent?
 You wouldn't want a 
 girl like me anyway!"

112
"-- and you thought 
 I wanted to settle
 down with you --"

113
"-- and sit by a fireside
    all night long --"

114
"-- and raise a family --"

115*
"None of that bunk 
 for me! A jazz life
    every time!"

116*
"That's me all over -
  a red hot mama!"

117
"I never had a guy 
 fall so hard for 
      me --"

118
"Why, you're crying --"

119
"-- like a baby --"

120
"I'm not a bad girl,
 Joe -- I didn't mean 
   a word I said!"

121
"I love you, Joe --
 but I can never, 
 never marry you."

122
"It's my family, Joe --
 they need me more
    than you do."

123
"Like hell we do!"

124
"From now on, I'll be
 the father of this
       family!"

125
"If this feller goes
 to Honolulu, you're
  going with him!"

126
"The next funeral you 
 go to will be your 
        own!"

127
"Good heavens! The
 boat leaves in ten 
     minutes!"

The
   End

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