The Mating Call

1   
"I'm sorry, gentlemen -
  please excuse me."

2
"Major Hatten seems
 to be suffering from
    shell shock."

3
"Worse than that! He's
 in love - with his own 
         wife."

4
"You see, back home
 before the war, he
 was crazy about the
  village belle -"

5
"Being a poor farmer, he
 didn't have a chance -"

6
"But as a Captain, returning
 on leave - - the village
        hero - -"

7
"Yes, but we must keep 
 our marriage a secret."

8
"So he had a hug and
 a couple of kisses -
 and he's been living on
 them for two years!"

9
"We dock tomorrow, 
 Major. I'll see my wife
 for the first time in 
     three years."

10
"Tomorrow!"

11
"Somehow I thought
 Rose would be here."

12
"My cable must have 
 gone astray - - so I'll
 catch a train and give 
    her a surprise."

13
"Next stop - -
  Evergreen!"

14
"Why didn't you let 
 us know you were 
  coming, Les?"

15
"This grown-up young 
 lady can't be your 
   little Jessie!"

16
"Marvin Swallow! Where's 
    your toothpick?"

17
"Where to, Major?"

18
"Straight to Rose's 
 house, of course!"

19
"Let's stop at your
   place first."

20
"I see - a surprise, eh?"

21
"It looks pretty shabby
 now - but wait till Rose
    and I fix it up."

22
"Loosen up, Marvin! What's
      on your mind?"

23
"I thought you'd rather
 be alone, Les, when you
  heard - about Rose."

24
"What - about Rose?"

25
"Her folks had your 
 marriage annulled -"

26
"She wasn't of age and you
 married her without their 
     consent, so - -"

27
"She's of age now - -
 and I'll marry her today,
 without anybody's consent!"

28
"You can't, Les. She married
 Lon Henderson and they've 
       gone abroad."

29
"Rose and Lon Henderson
  got back yesterday."

30
"Hello - Rose."

31
"You look like Hell."

32
"I heard you were a hermit -
 never called on anyone -
 so I thought I'd break the
           ice."

33
"Why didn't you bring
    Lon with you?"

34
"Why should I - -
 Three's a crowd."

35
"Besides, Lon annoys
 me. He's too loyal -
  to other women."

36
"So I'm going to do
 exactly as I please!"

37
"I want you to leave
 now, Rose - - and
 never come back!"

38
"What's the matter - -
 afraid of the Order?"

39
"Afraid of Lon?"

40
"Then you're afraid 
       of me!"

41
"I dare you to kiss me
 and then tell me to go!"

42
"You great big strong 
         man!"

43
"I want my hat!"

44
"I'll not come back until 
    you send for me!"

45
"Think it over, Les.
 You're going to be
 awfully lonesome out 
        here."

46
"Don't phone me at 
 my home, Jessie!"

47
"Where have you been?"

48
"Out!"

49
"I ran into Leslie Hatten 
 today. He was so glad 
 to see me I could hardly 
        get away."

50
"If I ever catch you with 
   that dirty farmer -"

51
"I'll have him run 
   out of town!"

52
"Are you speaking as my
 beloved husband - -
 or as a member of the
        Order?"

53
"Both! It is the duty of
 our Organization to safe-
 guard the honor of our
      womenfolk!"

54
"Would the Order be as 
 quick to act - - if the
 offender were a fellow 
        member?"

55
"Certainly! The Order 
 is no respecter of 
      persons!"

56
"Splendid!"

57
"Let me have my 
handkerchief, dear."

58
"It's Jessie's fault we're 
 late.  She just got 
         home."

59
"By the way, young 
 lady, where were you 
   all afternoon?"

60
"I went out to tea -
 at Major Hatten's."

61
"Don't get frightened -
 I just dropped in to 
 say goodbye. I'm leaving
      Evergreen."

62
"Can't I smoke a last 
 cigarette with you?"

63
"Lon and I are through!
 Too many women -
 too many quarrels -
 life's too short!"

64
"You need a woman to 
 take care of you!"

65
"It's no use, I'll have to
  change. Get my grip
    from the car."

66
"You've brought the wrong 
 bag, stupid. My dresses 
    are in the other."

67
"This is a personal matter, 
 gentlemen. I don't need
    any assistance!"

68
"I've come after
    my wife!"

69
"She's not here!"

70
"How do you like it -
 when your wife borrows 
  your own morals?"

71
"I found your note - but
 I didn't think you'd
 really have the insolence
     to come here."

72
"Don't get dramatic, Lon!
 You're always talking 
 about a divorce - now
   you can get one!"

73
"You want the divorce 
 so you can marry 
      Hatten!"

74
"Don't worry - - either
 of you! I'm already
       married!"

75
"I was married in France.
  My wife's on her way 
       here now."

76
"If you ever speak to 
 my wife again, I'll kill 
          you!"

77
"I'll be back tomorrow 
    for my things."

78
"Hereafter, Mr. Hatten,
 you'll please have no
 more tea parties - -
   with my Jessie."

79
"I haven't seen your Jessie -
    and I don't want to."

80
"I saw you had visitors.
    Need any help?"

81
"I'm all right, thanks.
 But I've decided to 
 end this mess - once
    and for all!"

82
"I'm going to get 
    a wife -"

83
"Not a baby-faced doll 
 from around here - "

84
"- but a real woman
 who wants a home -
 and is willing to work
       for it!"

85
"And I know where
  to find one."

86
Ellis Island.

87
"This is the family I
 spoke of. They'll be
 deported unless some-
   one helps them."

88
"You will help us?
      Yes?"

89
"I can get you 
   through."

90
"I need a woman. I'll take
 you and your parents
 with me - if you'll marry
           me."

91
"This gentleman has a
 farm and he needs a
 wife to help him work 
 it. I think you're all
 lucky, if you ask me."

92
"I accept the bargain."

93
"This is our room."

94
"This is your place!"

95
"I'm afraid I'll have to 
  change my clothes."

96
"You won't change 
      here!"

97
"This is just a friendly
 call. I've met your
 servant, but where's
     the bride?"

98
"We're not receiving 
    callers yet."

99
"So I'm good enough to
 be your woman - but
 not good enough to
 meet your friends!"

100
"You said you'd give 
 me back my letters.
  Where are they?"

101
"I forgot them."

102
"Get this straight! I won't
 marry you even if Rose
    does divorce me."

103
"We don't want to be 
 seen here! Get in the 
         car!"

104
"Something's troubling
 you, Jessie. Can't I
      help you?"

105
"Will you marry me,
      Jessie?"

106
"I've got to tell you
  something first,
      Marvin -"

107
"Let me think it over -
        alone!"

108
"A young girl doesn't
 commit suicide - -
   without a good
    reason - -"

109
"- and don't forget,
 it happened on his
       farm."

110
"I'll stay away from the
 meeting tonight, so my
 personal feelings won't
     influence you."

111
"I'll be waiting here,
 though - in case you
      want me."

112
"You are a shiftless,
 drunken reprobate,
 idling your time 
      away -"

113
"While your old mother
 hasn't enough to eat."

114
"You're dismissed - - but
 improve your ways! We'll
    be watching you!"

115
"You are accused of
 beating your wife."

116
"Sure I did - and you
   can't stop me!"

117
"Leslie Hatten is our
 next case. Bring him
        here!"

118
"Search the farm!"

119
"Maybe you'd better go 
 to town now and get
 Lon - he knows all
    about this."

120
"Pig that you are!
 To spy on me so!"

121
"I'm not spying - -
 I was afraid something
 had happened to you."

122
"What do you want?"

123
"You are the cause of
 Jessie Peebles suicide!"

124
"I didn't kill him!"

125
"You can explain that
        later!"

126
"I'm sorry, Hatten -
 but the evidence is
    conclusive!"

127
"He's killed Henderson!"

128
"I didn't kill him -
 but I was going to!"

129
"Lon Henderson drove
 Jessie to suicide!"

130
"If you didn't kill him,
    you should have!"

131
"We've got to fix it 
  so Marvin won't 
    be blamed."

THE END


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