Mantrap

1
"- and he said I flirted. A
 clever lawyer like you should
 get me alimony and the
 custody of the Cadillac."

2
Ralph Prescott feels that
   even when a woman
gives a man the best years 
of her life, he gets the 
      worst of it.

3
"The brute - he beat me!"

4
"Good!"

5
"- er - good evidence!"

6
"I'll start on your case now
 - and remember - no blonde
 ever lost a divorce suit in
        this state!"

7
"You think up the most
 murderous jokes, Wood-
 bury. Gad, that nearly
     finished me!"

8
"If a little scare hits you
 that hard, you're all shot.
 Come on in my office -
 I've got just what you
         need."

9
"A shot in the glass is
    worth two in the
        abdomen."

10
"I know what you need
 - a vacation with me
 - up in the old North
        woods."

11
"Thanks - but I don't
 know a thing about 
      camping."

12
"You don't need to - I know
 my Great Outdoors. You'll
 feel fine - away from work -"

13
"- and WOMEN!"

14
"We'll hit God's country -
 where a man can walk
 for miles without getting
 chewing gum on his rubber 
        heels!"

15
"'Lo, Curly."

16
"I'm sick of this he-man
 country. My last thrill
 was in 1906 - when I
 seen a girl's ankle in
     Minneapolis."

17
"Go down to Minneapolis
 again, Joe. Ankles ain't
 the half of what they're
      showin' now."

18
Curly's words had won.
 The Great Indoors was
calling Joe - and he had 
         to go.

19
"I'm going to Minneapolis,
 Mrs. McGavity - to see
 some ankles - I mean,
     some uncles."

20
"Them free-and-easy city
 hussies will get you, Joe
 Easter. They're so free
  and you're so easy."

21
"So long, Sweet Man -
 thanks for the buggy
        ride!"

22
"Sorry, boss - we don't git
 much o' that flamin' neck-
     wear 'round here."

23
"Well, well - a Big Boy
    from Away Back!"

24
"This is Alverna. How about
 letting her take care of your
          hands?"

25
"I'm ashamed to have you
 tinker with that giraffe's 
          hoof."

26
"I just love working on a
 real he-man's hand - for
    a little change!"

27
"Koo - koo - koo - koo -"

28
"Woo - woo - woo - woo -"

29
"Koo - koo - could you
 come 'n' have some
 eats with me tonight?"

30
"Oh, I never let men take
    me to dinner -"

31
"But you seem so 
  - different!"

32
"Say, you look more Western
 than the hind end of the
      Covered Wagon!"

33
"A few weeks together
 in the wilderness and
 we'll be pals for life!"

34
"I've got a good mind to 
 knock you unconscious
 with a slap on the wrist!"

35
"I'll have to put you two on
 separate islands. You're
  scarin' all the fish!"

36
"City fellows, hey - out
 here to enjoy the peace
       and quiet!"

37
"He's Ralph Prescott - a
 big lawyer in New York
 - and a big boob in the
         woods!"

38
"Ralph, you're in a bad
 way here. Let's see if
 I can't find a way out."

39
Joe's solution of the problem
   was to take Ralph back
to Mantrap - leaving the battle-
     field to Woodbury.

40
"This is the life, Joe - twenty
 miles from Woodbury - and a
 thousand miles from women!"

41
"That's my wife."

42
"I went to town to see a 
 little life - saw her - she
 saw I was diff'rent - then
 we both saw a minister!"

43
"This is Ralph Prescott from
 New York. He's a divorce
 lawyer, so he's met all the
       best people."

44
"It's swell to see somebody
 from New York. I'm no
 hick myself - I'm from
  Minneapolis, Ralph."

45
"You don't mind me calling
    you Ralph, do you?"

46
"You can call me Alverna."

47
"Let's throw a nasty party
 for Ralph tonight - some-
 thing to remind him of
        home -"

48
"I was aimin' to have a
 ree-spectable party -
 the McGavity's and the
   Reverend Dillon."

49
"I can't stand the McGavitys
 - and you know it. Gee,
 you always pick out the
 worst crumbs in the bakery!"

50
"Ralph, tell him you don't
 want those wet blankets
     at your party."

51
"Ralph has to meet all
 the local ee-leet, dear.
 They always leave early,
        anyway."

52
At ten o'clock, the orgy
   was at its height.

53
"I suppose you can thrill a
 jury - but when it comes
 to talking to a girl, you
  sure are a flat tire."

54
"No wonder there's wild
 goings-on here whenever
      Joe's away."

55
"I won't stand here and
 be insulted. Where's my
       things?"

56
"I'm glad you're here, Ralph.
 You'll be good company for
 Alvy - better than these 
         trappers."

57
"She married me 'cause I
 seemed such a change
 from all those city men."

58
"Dearie, could you tear your-
 self out of that chair long
 enough for a little dance?"

59
"Well, if the boy friend
 isn't alive and kicking!"

60
Soon after the invited
 guests left - a few
uninvited ones arrived.

61
"Some of those thievin' Indians
 can smell liquor for ten miles
 on a clear night. You sure
     scared 'em, Ralph."

62
"I'll stand guard 'till day-
 break, Joe. They may
 come back with a crowd."

63
"I'm too scared to sleep,
 Joey. Guess I'll read for
        a while."

64
"I'm frightened to death,
 Ralph - all a-twitter -"

65
"I thought I'd get a kick out
 of life up here - but gee -
 I'd like to go back. It's fierce
 to be dead before you die."

66
"Do you ever get scared?"

67
"I'm scared now."

68
"Ralphy, are you scared
        of me?"

69
"But when your kind falls
 in love they're hotter than
 the Boy That Stood on
   the Burning Deck!"

70
"I'm scared as a sparrow
   in a cat's claws!"

71
Four weeks of hunting and
  fishing - four weeks of
Joe's steadying philosophy
and Alverna's unsteadying
          eyes.

72
"I'll get some firewood."

73
"Alverna, Joe's a prince.
 You ought to show your
    appreciation -"

74
"There are some other people
 around here that don't show
     much appreciation."

75
"This has gone far enough.
  I'll never kiss you!"

76
"I'm leaving this afternoon."

77
"I don't trust myself
      with you -"

78
"- since you insist on
 behaving like a little
         fool -"

79
"- and since you're
 so disconcerting."

80
"Joe, I'm worried about
 Woodbury. I'd better join
 him and start back to
      New York."

81
"I been kind of worryin'
 about - about Woodbury,
 myself - the last few
         days."

82
"From what I hear, little
 Mrs. Easter'll miss you
          awful."

83
"Can't locate Alvy. I guess
 she kind of hates goodbyes,
          anyway."

84
"I sure appreciate what
 you've done for me and
     Alvy, Ralph."

85
"I'm going with you."

86
"I'm sick of Mantrap. The
 first city street car I see
 - I'm going right up and
 kiss it on the cowcatcher."

87
"I can't take you, Alverna
 Joe's my friend - it wouldn't
       be honorable."

88
"Honor - that's a moth-eaten 
 alibi! I'd like to see a guy
 that had so much he didn't
 have to squawk about it!"

89
"'s all right - I'll walk back
 to Minneapolis. I've walked
        home before!"

90
"When you're comfy in your
 canoe - think of my bones
 bleaching on a lonely trail!"

91
"You win. I'll take you."

92
"I could kiss you -"

93
"Understand, I'm just taking
 you because it - it wouldn't
 be safe for you - in the
         forest!"

94
"You must look on me -
 not as a man - but as a
 means of transportation -"

95
All night long, Joe searched
 in vain. And the day 
seemed darker than the 
        night.

96
"Missus go with white
  man - squaw see -"

97
"Get my canoe."

98
It wasn't all easy paddling.
  There were long, blister-
ing portages - and Alverna
    packed her share.

99
"They camped here last
 night. We should catch
    them tomorrow."

100
"Ease up a little, Hiawatha.
 We've got barely enough
 food left to see us through."

101
"What's the idea - looking
 at me like that? Am I a
         sight?"

102
"I was thinking how
 beautiful you are,
     Alverna."

103
"Going through all this together
 has shown me how wonderful
 you are - how brave and fine -"

104
"- and I thought you 
 were just a butterfly."

105
"And so I am, old dear, a
 butterfly. You said a 
        netful."

106
"When we get out, will
 you take me to a dance
 just once - before we
     say goodbye?"

107
"Now, what have I done?"

108
"I hate to think of -
   saying goodbye."

109
"Gee, do you really like
     me that much?"

110
"Like you, dear? More than 
   I have a right to -"

111
"I'll write to Joe and ask
 him to give you a divorce.
    He'll understand -"

112
"Please don't mention Joe.
 It - it still hurts to think
 of him. And it wasn't his
         fault -"

113
"My Lord, the sun hath risen
 - and there's a breeze among
 the hemlocks. We should be
  among the ham and eggs."

114
"That Indian's gone with
       our canoe!"

115
"Holy Mackerel - he's taken
    every bit of eats!"

116
"Well, if he thinks we'll sit
 here and starve, he's got
    Alverna all wrong!"

117
"We'll hike 'till we drop."

118
"I can't go another step,
 Ralph. I'm too tired and
       too hungry."

119
"You've been so brave -"

120
"Well, we fought together -
 and we can quit together."

121
"We've lost our way - and
 we're all out of food -"

122
"Sorry we can't take on
 passengers. We have to
 patrol for forest fires."

123
"Aw, Major - have a heart!"

124
"I'm not a Major - and 
  I'm a married man!"

125
"We'll leave you some rations
 - and report you to the
   nearest settlement."

126
"And I thought you were 
   through flirting!"

127
"I don't care what 
   happens now!"

128
"Don't be sill - I only
 flirted because it was
       necessary."

129
"The essential thing is that
    you flirted again!"

130
"Well, to get the eats one
 of us had to flirt with
 him - and it couldn't be
     you, could it?"

131
"If you could fish as well as
 you can crab - there'd
 be many an empty lake
       up here."

132
"Gee - Joe!"

133
"Go on - shoot!"

134
"I guess shootin' wouldn't
 help much - I'd rather
  save you from her."

135
"Can't I have some voice
 in the matter? I don't
   want to be saved."

136
"Ralph, you couldn't be happy
 with Alvy. She'd have you
 on pins and needles all the
          time."

137
"She'll flirt as long
   as she breathes!"

138
"Why, I never flirted in
 my life - unless it was
 absolutely necessary."

139
"Things look lots worse than
 they really are. But I'll marry
 her - as soon as you give her
         a divorce."

140
"Well, that sort of upsets
 my plans. I'd figured on
 sendin' her to my aunt in
       Minneapolis -"

141
"Minneapple sauce!"

142
"You see - Mantrap's a lone-
 some neck o' the woods -
 so she really should have
 a spell in town now and
         then -"

143
"New York - Paris - Monte
 Carlo - that's what she needs.
   Continental culture -"

144
"May I interrupt your funny
 act just long enough to say
 that I'm my own boss -
     from now on?"

145
"I'm going to Minneapolis,
 Joe - but not to your aunt."

146
"And you two birds can
 fly South - winter or
 summer - for all I care!"

147
"Remember - you still
    bear my name!"

148
"So does your old man!"

149
"Mrs. Barker is waiting, sir.
 She's called every day since
         you left."

150
"I can't see why you miss
 Alverny! I says it's good
 riddance to bad rubbish!"

151
"Alvy's the finest little 
    woman in all the 
        world -"

152
"ALVY!"

153
"JOEY!"

154
"Gee, I was lonesome in the
 city. I just had to
 get back to Mantrap - 
      and you!"

155
"Hang on to me, Joe -
 I'm slipping just a little -"

THE END


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