Kiki

[* = recreated titles]

1
Every time the chorus
 of the Folies Barbes
 rehearses a song - -
it means murder on the
     High C's - -

2
She'd a hopeless start
 In life's grim game,
No family or fortune --
 Not even a name,
But an eye for a hearth
 A tooth for sweets
And a character founded 
 On corners of streets.

3
"You sing swell, Kiki -
 you make that bunch
 sound like a lot of
 crows with the croup!"

4
Victor Renal, manager
  of the revue.

5
"Gawd, how I love
    that man!"

6
"You told me three
   Goodbyes - -"

7
"- And I'll tell you three
 more - - Get out - -
 GET OUT - GET OUT!"

8
"- and may all your
 children be radio
    announcers!"

9
"Why don't you try
 for the job, Kiki? All
 you need is some
  nifty clothes."

10
"I put the rent money
 under your wine-bottle.
 I thought you'd look
 there the first thing."

11
Where the rent money 
     went - -

12
"I heard you could use
 an extra-special chorus
         girl."

13
"Were you sent by
   the Agency?"

14
"You don't realize how
 very extra-special I am!"

15
"My brother's an Apache -
 and all my sisters are
    Apachesses - -"

16
"You big piece of 
     cheese!"

17
Paulette, star of the
 revue, fiancée of
 Manager Renal,
    but - -

18
Cheron - - just a tenor
 And you know what
 those tenors are!

19*
"I bought them for you,
 dearest - to perfume
 your office when I am
      not here."

20*
"Yes -, No -,
 Yes - -"

21*
"No!"

22*
"Yes!"

23*
"I've come to
 join the Revue."

24*
"Were you sent
 by the Agency?"

25*
"Would you please take
 that to Mr. Renal and
 arrange an interview?"

26*
"You're an energetic dancer,
    who lacks a heart?"

27*
"Yes, that's me!"

28*
"Everything but a heart."

29*
"You know, I don't belong to
 the world of the music hall."

30*
"I've been educated. I have
 relatives in politics, - -
 embassies........

 If I told you my real name,
 you would be astonished."

31*
"Oh, for the - -

 Give this girl a chance!"

32*
"Lift your skirt.

 Let's see your legs."

33*
"I should say not!
 I'm an artiste!"

34*
"What's the matter - are
    you knock-kneed?"

35*
"Ask the Prince of Wales!"

36*
"Cut the back talk.

 Show us your legs!"

37*
"Enough of your knees.

 Show us the upstairs!"

38*
"Higher! Higher!"

39*
"You act like a politician
 with your interest in
     my cover-ups."

40*
"Not in front of you, 
 Monsieur Renal.

 Turn around please."

41*
"Can you at least sing?"

42*
"Can you sight-read?"

43*
"Of course! A child could
 read it right side up!"

44*
"You've got spirit.
 You're hired."

45*
Baron Rapp - financial
 "Angel" of the 
Revue, and a devil
 with the ladies.

46*
"What do you think of
     her voice?"

47*
"Very shapely!
 Very shapely!"

48*
"Who is she?"

49*
"I've been cooling my heels
 out here for two hours.

 Announce me at once!"

50*
"I'm so sorry - the place
  has just been filled."

51*
"Think I care about
 being thrown out of
 here? Some day I'll 
 be thrown out of the 
        Ritz!"

52*
Kiki's debut -

53*
"Much better-looking
 chorus than you had
     last year."

54*
"Atta girl, Kiki!"

55*
Ah, these first nights!
   They begin with
  aspirations - and 
 end with Aspirin.

56*
"Can't you see I'm 
      busy?"

57*
"That's all right.
   I can wait."

58*
"The Harp!"

59*
"Did you ever fly with 
       a harp?"

60*
"I spent my last sou
 on clothes - to land
 this job. And now I'm
       fired!"

61*
"That's Paulette!"

62*
"I meant what I said 
 out there. I'm through
      with you."

63*
"Don't be a silly boy.
 You're not the sort that
 can live alone -- you
 must have someone to
      love you!"

64*
"Speaking for Monsieur
 Renal - reserve a table
       for two."

65*
"Beautiful Paulette - How
   can you resist her?"

66*
"Congratulations!
 Good riddance
 to bad rubbish!"

67*
"Keep it, if you like."

68*
"Not half bad - if you'd
 take off that awful
 hat!"

69*
"Did I hear someone
 mention supper for
       two?"

70*
"I have a date with
 a duke, but if you
 insist - -"

71*
"Suppose I do insist!"

72*
"What's your name?"

73*
"Kiki!"

74*
"You have to be careful.
 Sometimes it's chinchilla
 when you check it,
 and rabbit when you 
       leave!"

75*
"Monsieur Renal's table!"

76*
"May we share your
  table, Victor?"

77*
"So glad to meet
 you - socially!"

78*
"Likewise, dearie."

79*
The unpleasant situation
quickly became perilous.

80*
"You have to pay for
     it anyway."

81*
"This is a great evening
 for you, dearie. I can't
 imagine that you drink
    champagne often."

82*
"No - as a rule I bathe
 in it. The bubbles
 tickle my skin so - -"

83
"Where to, Kiki?"

84
"I haven't any place
 to go - no home -"

85
"What about your rich
     old sports?"

86
"All lies! I just wanted
 you to think I was wild
  and interesting - -"

87
"Home, Henri!"

88
"Ever been kissed, Kiki?"

89
"No - you see, I never
   knew my mother."

90
"I mean - have you ever
 been kissed by a man?"

91
"Like to try it?"

92
"How was it?"

93
"All wet!"

94
"You're lucky. Last time
 a man tried that - I
 knifed him through the 
       heart."

95
"Not a chance. You'd
 only make another
   lunge at me!"

96
Adolphe, the valet.

97
"Monsieur Renal, please."

98
"You can't come in!"

99
"Monsieur Renal is in
   conference - -"

100
It was on just such
 a peaceful morning
 as this that the
French Revolution
     started.

101
"Breakfast is served."

102
"Breakfast for one! I want
      to eat alone!"

103
"Feed her - and get her
  out of here quick!"

104
"Don't you understand?
 You're eating the 
 master's breakfast!"

105
"I tripped -- and he
 tried to catch me,
    poor fellow."

106
"You dirty little liar!"

107
Every morning Renal
 decided that Kiki must
 go. Every night he
remembered that her next
home might be - the river
 Seine - - She stayed.

108
"Yes, she's still here -
 but not under the sort
 of arrangement you
 think. She wouldn't
   stand for it."

109
"My boy, I know better.
 It's ring out the blonde -
 ring in the brunette."

110
"She's always putting
 these things in my 
 pockets. Every time I
 reach for a handkerchief,
 I pull out her chemise."

111
"Don't bring Paulette
 here - - Kiki would
 slay her. That little
 fiend is uncivilized!"

112
"As a good friend, let
 me take Kiki off your
        hands."

113
"You work fast, Baron.
 I see you're moving her
     out already."

114
"Spy - eavesdripper -
 I'll tell Monsieur Renal -"

115
"I have a perfect right
 to eavesdrip - - I
 am the Lady of the
      House -"

116
"You aren't even his 
     sweetheart!"

117
"How do you know?
 I may not be as dumb
     as I look."

118
"At least you could
 have answered Paulette's
      letters."

119
"I haven't received any -
 since our last quarrel."

120
"Have there been any
 letters from Mademoiselle
 Paulette in the mail
     lately? - -"

121
"Yes, Monsieur Renal -
 every morning. I put
 them beside your plate 
    at breakfast."

122
"Where are Mademoiselle
  Paulette's letters?"

123
"Where are Mademoiselle
  Paulette's letters?"

124
"Mon Dieu -- that big 
 blonde writes a rotten
         hand!"

125
"She's lying - she isn't
  sorry - it's a bluff!"

126
"Will - you - shut - up?"

127
"My dear - I didn't mean
 you - I was shouting 
     at Adolphe!"

128
"Meet me at Rumpelmayer's
 for tea - at three - we
         two --"

129
"NO - THREE - NOT
 TWO - TWO - THREE -
 MEET ME - THREE -
      TWO --"

130
"I'LL

[cut to:]

131
BE

[cut to:]

132
OVER

[cut to:]

133
IN

[cut to:]

134
FIVE

[cut to:]

135
MINUTES!"

136
"Paulette is here. Take 
 her to your heart 
 again - and I'll get rid
   of Kiki for you."

137
"She'll never go with
         you."

138
"Been a good boy,
     Victor?"

139
"Renal has gone!"

140
"He has decided that
 I'm to take you off
     his hands."

141
"He wants you to leave
  before he returns."

142
"I can do so much more
 for you than he could.
 You'll have anything 
 your little heart desires -"

143
"Heliotrope - - my
  favorite scent!"

144
"Heliotrope is to a man
 what cheese is to a
       mouse!"

145
"I'll make you a star,
 my child - you can have
 your own theatre, if
 you'll let me take care
        of you."

146
"- remember all our
 wonderful hours
 together. No one
 loves you like I do!"

147
"Is that the reason he's
   getting rid of me?"

148
"When he sees me - all
 dolled up - stepping
 into your car - do you
 think he'll care - 'cause
     he lost me?"

149
"Then I'll show him!
  I'll go with you!"

150
"Pack Mademoiselle Kiki's
   trunk immediately."

151
"- and ask the cook to
 bring Mademoiselle Kiki's
 private wardrobe here."

152
"I don't want any of his
 stuff on me. I'll get
 sweller things - won't I?"

153
"I'll set the styles at
 the races -- and the
 Opera. People will say
 'There's the famous Kiki.
     Where? - There!'"

154
"She's going with me."

155
"He can go to the
 devil -- if the devil
   will have him!"

156
"Oh - child - you don't
      mean that."

157
"No - I don't - I love him -
       I LOVE him!"

158
"If you don't want
 the clothes, why the
       trunk?"

159
"People always leave 
 places with trunks -
 and when I leave, I
    leave right!"

160
"I love him so. I'd walk
 over hot coals in my
 stocking feet for him -
 I'd pawn my shirt -
   gee, I love him!"

161
"Well - - that means
   Goodbye Kiki!"

162
"So the Baron has taken
 a fancy to you. He's
 one of my oldest friends."

163
"Oh yes - you were
 children together,
   weren't you?"

164
"So you're the one who
 is driving me away
     from here!"

165
"You can't blame Victor
  for preferring me."

166
"Life wouldn't stop for
 you if you lost him -
 it would for me. That's
 real love - something
  you'll never know."

167
"I know enough not
 to make a fool of
      myself."

168
"I can't help how much I love
 him. It's my temperament.
 My mother was a Corsican -
 my father was a Corsican -
      I'm a Corsican!"

169
"- and, believe me, us
 Corsicans can use
     a knife!"

170
"Swear you'll give him
 up to me - or - I'll start
      a vendetta!"

171
"That's the end of you
 in this house - - 
      get out!"

172
Kiki's collapse began
 to alarm the whole
household. For hours
she had remained rigid
   and motionless.

173
"Congratulations! A
 magnificent case of
 catalepsy -- all the
 usual tests confirm
   my diagnosis."

174
"Isn't there any way to 
       wake her?"

175
"She can't feel anything.
 You could even apply 
 hot irons to the soles
    of her feet."

176
"To prove my theory,
 drive this into her 
 arm - or leg - as you
       prefer."

177
"How long will this 
  condition last?"

178
"I've known it to last
      two years!"

179
"I'm an old man now.
 Two years is too long
   for me to wait."

180
"We'll be late for the
 performance. Are you
       ready?"

181
"When you've finished 
 playing with that leg,
 perhaps you'll give
 me your arm - and 
    come along."

182
"Those idiots have put
 her on top of my wrap.
    Get it for me."

183
"Stop that! Who do
 you think you are?
   Leaning Lena?"

184
"Victor! Are you going
 to play with that all 
        night?"

185
"Kiki, why did you let
  old Rapp kiss you?"

186
"I can't leave her while
 she's in this condition."

187
"Where am I?"

188
"You little fraud - why
 did you invent this
   cataleptic fit?"

189
"So I wouldn't have to
 leave. When the doctor
 said catalepsy could last
 two years - I fell for
  that disease strong."

190
"Why did you kiss me?"

191
"Because I've wanted to
   for a long time."

192
"Why do you put these
 ridiculous things in my
       pockets?"

193
"So you might think of
 me - once in a while."

194
"I think you're - -
 the grandest man in
     the world."

195
"Why didn't you tell me
     that before?"

196
"I thought you'd get
 the wrong idea. You
 see, I wanted to be
 more than just your
     sweetheart."

197
"What did you want 
      to be?"

198
"Don't go to her! Stay -
 stay with me - I love
 you - I l-l-love you!"

The End


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