The Kid Stakes

1
     FATTY FINN
      played by
    "POP" ORDELL

(They called him Fatty
because he was not fat.)

2
"What sort of a job have
 I got to do this week
    Mr. Nicholls?"

3
This is the age of
      speed.

[dissolves to:]

4
In comparison with the past
 we are born faster, live
faster, eat faster, make love 
faster, get married faster,
get divorced faster and
      die faster.

[dissolves to:]

5
Every modern child is a
 potential speed demon.

[dissolves to:]

6
Fatty Finn the world's
 greatest speed king.

7
Presented with a golden
 cup while the crowd cheer-
ed and the band played.

8
"Gosh! What a bonzer
      dream!"

9
Tiny King who is Fatty's
   trusted lieutenant.

    .... Charles Roberts.

10
"Gee! Tino, I just had
    a beaut dream."

11
"--- and just as I smash-
 ed the record I woke up."

12
"If you hadn't woke up
 you mighter smashed your
       wishbone."

13
"Aw, Gee! It's only Jimmy
 Kelly. Betcha he wants
 to borrow a few alleys
       from you!

Jimmy Kelly.....Ray Salmon

14
"Bruiser Murphy is here
 and he ses if you wanter
 race Hector in the Kid
 Stakes to-morrow, you've
 gotter put your nomernat-
 ion paper in today."

15
Bruiser Murphy, owner of
  the champion goat,
Stonker, and Fatty's hated 
        rival.

       ..... Frank Boyd.

16
If self importance grew 
 like a pimple Bruiser
would be wearing a
     carbuncle.

17
Bruiser's Secretary,
   Shooey Shugg.

  .... Edward Stevens.

18
The little fellow is nick-
 named "'Seasy," because
to him nothing is hard
    "it's easy."

        Billy Ireland.

19
"The nomernation must be
 in by six o'clock today."

20
Headlight Hogan's double-lens
  glasses made him a
  double stickey beak.

    .... Stanley Funnelle.

21
Bruiser's sweetheart Betty
         Briggs.

    .... Gwenda Hemus.

22
"I orter push yer face
 in now Finn but if that
 paper ain't right, I'll
 see yer after the race.
  Yer can't bluff me."

23
"Comrades Hector is
 sure to win. He's a
  beaut galloper."

24
"I've locked him in the
 stable and he's not to
 have anything to eat till
 after the race to-morrow."

25
The traitor.

26
"These fellows can't bat;
 you go and give Hector
 a rub down while I
 show them how to hit
      a sixer."

27
"Get Hector out about
 six o'clock in the mornin'
 and I'll give you a glassy
 and six stinkies after
       the race."

28
Constable Claffey who
 keeps his eye on
      things.

  ..... Leonard Durell.

29
Macartney.

30
Gregory.

31
Right on the
  "silly point."

32
A lesson in bowling
  by the arm of
     the Law.

33
Mailey.

34
'Seasy stuck to the law 
  like a spare tyre
   - in the rear.

35
"Gee! Fancy a girl having
 a beaut idea like that
 You should have been 
         a boy."

Kitty Kelly....Joyce Hazeldine

36
"Fatta da Finn hitta da
 ball, smasha da win'."

37
Hector undergoes
 his preparation.

38
"It was a stroke worthy
 of Jack Gregory sir. He
 pulled the ball nearly
   two hundred yards."

39
"My boy did that? How 
 much would the window
        cost?"

40
Night fell -- all of a
  heap -- and owner,
trainer and supporters
tossed restlessly in their 
beds while they dreamed 
of Hector winning by a 
street but at 6 a.m.--

41
Mrs. Fungus a friendly
 neighbour had washed
her husband's only shirt.

42
Hector was stuck on what 
   the sticker stuck.

43
Beginning to feel peckish,
    he does a little
       thinking.
Question: Do goats think?
  Answer: Ask yourself.

44
"What about a bit
 of green stuff?"

45
    Two of a kind.

 The one with the four
   legs is the goat by
right of birth. The other
     just happened.

46
The one with the two
 legs is Horatio John
Wart whose heart is in the
right place although his
face has slipped a bit.

  ..... Jimmy Taylor.

47
Madeline Twirt who
 loves Horatio like a
   cat loves fish.

  ..... Eileen Alexander.

48
"Oh Horatio my hero,
 my splendid he man."

49
"My rose, my bloom, 
 my beautiful flower!"

50
That's what Hector
     thought.

51
Mr. Twirt's gout forced
  him out of bed an
hour earlier than usual.

  ..... Tom Cannan.

52
"There's a Goat in the 
 garden. Capture him and
 lock him in the garage.
 I'll have the ugly brute
      destroyed."

53
"My hero! My king! Wait
 for me in the summer
 house. I'll slip down
  with my suit case."

54
"My Flower! My Fruit!
     My Peanut!"

55
"Come on mister goat!"

56
The end of a 
perfect meal.

57
--- and Hector went
 through the card.

58
Hector decides to have a
 sleep in the summer
       house.

59
"Here I am. Kiss me
     Horatio."

60
Bruiser had despatched
 Stonker to the course
early and was now having
trouble with Betty who want-
ed to wear the trousers.

61
News of Hector's escape
  had reached Fatty
and while others played
 his heart was breaking.

62
Meanwhile an angel in
 disguise was coming
     among them.

63
Master Algie Snoops of
  Potts Point who
longed to play with other
     children.

  ....... David Lidstone.

64
Under that velvet jack-
 et beats a hot and
   restless heart.

65
The call of the wild.

66
"Sissyboy!"

67
"Mummy's darling 'ickle
  baby, where is 'oo
     Nursie Pet?"

68
"Don't dirty 'oo 'ickle
    handies, Dear!"

69
"Mind 'oo safety pins
 don't come undone ducky."

70
"Did 'oo nursie give 'oo
   'oo bottle pet?"

Molly Kelly.....Evelyn Rawle.

71
"A feller ought to dot 
  your blinkin' eye."

72
Scrum!

73
"You ought to be ashamed
 of yourself, Hubert Finn,
 hitting that poor little
    Potts Point boy."

74
"He'll do Fat. He can
 join the gang. Shake
        hands."

75
"Gee! That's good pepper."

76
"Gosh! Kitty it was'nt my
 fault I wouldn't have hit
 him if I'd known he could
          fight."

77
"Decent boys don't fight."

78 [animated title; each line
    revealed consecutively in 
    circular pattern]
PRETTY JOEY!!! 
"YUM YUM"
Sheik! 
WOW
"Oh kiss me Fatty!"
"You're the one"
"SHEIK!!"

79
"Aw gee! The fellers are
 a lot of cock-eyed fish."

80
"The fellers needn't think
  I want to kiss girls."

81
"I'm not scared of any
 copper - if he comes near
 me again I'll knock he's
       blooming -"

82
"Gee! It's Hector!"

83
"I know Mr. Twirt's place
 and can lead you to
    the garage."

84
"Gee Fellers, we're going to
 rescue Hector or die. Algie
    will be the guide."

85
"What did Napolean do?"

86
"We'll sign our names in
 our own blood so that
 we won't tell on each
     other. C'mon."

87
"You nick home, you'll only
   get us into trouble."

88
"Gosh, look at the
 bonzer swimming pool."

89
"Were you the only goat
   in there mister?"

90
"Hey Miss, let him
 come up for air."

91
"Somebody's got Fatty's goat."

92
"You get Hector while
   we have a swim."

93
"No savee."

94
Meanwhile the candidates
  were arriving on the
course for the first heats
  of The Kid Stakes.

95
Fatty decides to put the
 lovers through the "torture
test" before making them
members of the gang.

96
"Look it's twenty to four
 and the race starts at four."

97
"I'll fly Hector over
  in my aeroplane."

98
The Big Parade.

99
Horatio in his wild enthu-
 siasm looped the loop.

100
So did Hector.

101
"Step on it Mister and
 I'll give you the right
 oil for the big race."

102
Stonker was favourite for
 the 5th heat but Bruiser
Murphy, his owner, had a
few words with a bookmaker.

103
"20 to 1 Stonker!"

104
But ---

105
--- Stonker won by two
     goat lengths.

106
"Spare me days, there are
 only two goats on the
 course - Stonker and me!"

107
Hector got there just in
 time to win the 6th heat 
and qualify for the final.

108
The Wireless Man worked
 overtime while a whole
Continent "listened in" with
  breathless excitement.

109
"2 F.C. speaking ---- Listen
 folks! The greatest race of
 the year is about to start."

110
"They are now at the
 barrier. One of the goats
 has just eaten the start-
 er's straw hat causing
    a slight delay."

111
"They got away to a good
 start and Hector has
  gone to the front."

112
"Stonker has taken the
  lead from Hector."

113
"Windbag is making a great
 run Hector has fallen back
          beaten."

114
"Poo and Stonkey have turn-
 ed into the straight together."

115
"Poo!"

116
"Poo, Windbag and Stonker
  are fighting it out."

117
Stonker!

118
"Poo!"

119
"Hector is coming again on
        the rails."

120
Hector!

121
"Hector and Poo are racing
     neck and neck."

122 [animated title; each line
    revealed consecutively]
"Hector!
     Hector!
         Hector!
           Hector!

123
"Stonker is beaten."

124
"Poo! Poo! No, Hector!"

125
Hector!

126 [animated title; each word
    revealed consecutively]
"Hector! Hector! Hector!

127
"Hector has won by a
    short beard."

128
There was joy in
 Hector's camp.

129
"You aint going to turn
 me down are you Betty?"

130
"You! You and Stonker couldn't
 beat a starved cockroach
 with sea boots on - you mutt!"

THE END



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