It

1 
"IT" is that quality possessed by some
  which draws all others with its
magnetic force. With "IT" you win
all men if you are a woman - and all
women if you are a man. "IT" can
be a quality of the mind as well as a
physical attraction.
		Elinor Glyn [signature]

2
Leaving his department store 
  to his son, Cyrus P. Waltham
has gone to Herrin, Illinois, for
         the shooting.

3
"A gentleman to see 
      you, sir."

4
"For a good boy - on
his first work day."

5
"If you ever go to work,
Monty, I'll do as much 
       for you."

6
"Old fruit, you've
    got 'IT'!"

7
"What the devil are you
        doing?"

8
"No - too bad - but you
   haven't any 'IT'!"

9
"Run away, Monty, the 
 keepers are coming."

10
"I'm to look over the 
 store. Come along."

11
"Hot socks - the
   new boss!"

12
"Sweet Santa Claus,
   give me him!"

13
"Let's have a double 
wedding - you and
him - and me and
the Prince of Wales!"

14
"Where do you figure?
The Prince is going to 
  be our best man!"

15
"I've inspected all the lady
    employees - and not
   one of them has 'IT'!"

16
"You went over big,
      dearie!"

17
"Just you wait - I'll take
  the snap out of your 
      garters yet!"

18
"Look! If I ever saw 'IT',
      that's 'IT'!"

19
"Shall we gnaw a chop 
at the club tonight?"

20
"Thanks, but I have an
engagement at the Ritz."

21
"Could I - is it asking
too much - would it be
possible for me to - to
   drive you home?"

22
"I'd be very glad to go 
  with you - if you'd 
    ride in my car."

23
Betty lived in that
 fashionable down-
town suburb - Gas-
  house Gables -

24
"Would - could - do
  you ever dine?"

25
"I'd love to -"

26
"- at the Ritz!"

27
"Shall we dress?"

28
"Of course - how
     absurd!"

29
"Then I'll pop around 
      at eight?"

30
"Toodles is hungry."

31
"The doctor says I can't 
go back to the store for 
a month - and I can't 
let you do any more 
      for me."

32
"Don't be sill, Molly! I
won't go back on a pal!"

33
"That pest of a landlady 
and her friend just left.
The baby shouldn't do 
this - and I shouldn't do 
         that -"

34
"If this was my baby,
I'd tell 'em where to 
      head in!"

35
"I'm dining out tonight
    - at the Ritz!"

36
Every evening in America,
  eighteen million blondes
prepare to dine with gentle-
men. One of the eighteen 
         million -

37
 "Mother, would you 
 approve of my being 
Mrs. Cyrus T. Waltham?"

38
"He hasn't proposed yet
 - but he's going to!"

39
"Mademoiselle's car
    is without."

40
"A nice, quiet table -
  in the corner, Mr.
     Montgomery?"

41
"I don't crave this table.
When I'm in the swim,
I want to be with the 
      goldfish!"

42
"I'll take the same!"

43
"Who is the girl with 
        Monty?"

44
"I don't know - but isn't 
    she attractive?"

45
"Who's the blonde with
     Mr. Waltham?"

46
"Adela Van Norman -
they've been friends for 
years. Some day they'll
marry and end it all."

47
"Of course you're reading
Elinor Glyn's latest story,
          'IT'?"

48
"Monty was raving about 
it today. What is 'IT'?"

49
"Here's Elinor Glyn herself!
Let's ask her to tell us 
 something about 'IT'."

50
"Madame Glyn, we've
been talking about your
latest story. Just what
     is this 'IT'?"

51
"Self-confidence and indifference
as to whether you are pleasing 
or not - and something in you
that gives the impression that
you are not at all cold. That's 'IT'!"

52
"If you have 'IT', you
will win the girl you 
        love."

53
"Cyrus, do you believe 
       in 'IT'?"

54
"I certainly do!"

55
"I'm going to get my 
       wish!"

56
"Oh, I must telephone!"

57
"Who is that charming 
   girl with you?"

58
"This is a great pleasure."

59
"I'll bet you won't even 
recognize me, the next 
    time we meet."

60
"I'll take the bet -
  and you can name 
    the stakes."

61
In a shopgirl's day,
 the first thousand 
customers are the 
    crabbiest.

62
"She always takes goods on
approval - wears them around
for six months - and then finds
    she doesn't approve!"

63
"- and the girl insulted 
           me!"

64
"See that the garment is 
replaced - and send the 
salesgirl to my office."

65
"Young lady, in this store
the customer is always
        right -"

66
"I'm the salesgirl! Go
  on - bawl me out!"

67
"Well, anyway, I lose the 
bet for not recognizing 
you. What's the forfeit?"

68
  "Oh, that wasn't a 
real bet. I don't want 
      anything -"

69
"Thanks, Adela, I'll be 
  very happy to dine
  with you tonight."

70
"If you insist on paying
your bet, you can take 
    me out tonight."

71
"All right! Where?"

72
"Let's go to the beach -
  and do it up right!"

73
"Hold me tight, Mr. 
     Waltham."

74
"Happy?"

75
"So you're one of those 
Minute Men - the minute
you know a girl you
think you can kiss her!"

76
Poverty is no disgrace
  - - until meddling
neighbors hear of it.

77
"There's no use arguing!
We're going to take that
baby to the Home, until
     you're well!"

78
"Get that story."

79
"If women like you would
stay home and have babies
of your own, we'd all be 
     better off!"

80
"We're doing our duty.
The mother is ill - and
she has no means of 
      support."

81
"This is my baby!"

82
"I don't believe it."

83
"I'm the baby's mother
- I'm not sick - and
I've got a job! Laugh
      that off!"

84
"Haven't I a job, Monty -
at Waltham's? Tell 'em!"

85
"Is that the baby's 
      father?"

86
"Him? He couldn't 
even give birth to 
  a suspicion!"

87
"Who is your husband?
Have you a husband?"

88
"None of your business!"

89
"I say, Betty, this isn't
really your child, is it?"

90
"Are you blind? Can't you
  see the resemblance?"

91
"I have tashted the milk
   of human kindnesh -
an' it's a lot of Fermillac!"

92
"B'lieve it or not - my
  baby is its mother!"

93
"I'm the chappie - the
man about town - I'm
 the ample means!"

94
"We are investigating the 
case of a girl who says
she's employed here -"

95
"- she - she - there's
        a baby."

96
"She gave the name 
of Betty Lou Spence."

97
"Thank you. You see, we 
had to verify her story."

98
"She's the one. She told 
me it's her baby - told
me with her own lipsh!"

99
"Will you issue the
bonus checks now,
  Mr. Waltham?"

100
 "Are you mad at me
because I slapped you?"

101
"I'm sorry - but a girl
has to do that. You
know how those things 
        are!"

102
"Let's forget it. We've
got each other straight
   now, haven't we?"

103
"Yes - we have!"

104
"It's a star sapphire."

105
"It's pretty - but I like 
    diamonds better."

106
"Would you like some 
diamonds for yourself?"

107
"Betty, I'm crazy 
   about you -"

108
"I love you, too."

109
"I'll buy you diamonds -
clothes - everything
     you want -"

110
"What are you trying 
  to do? Offer me
one of those left-hand 
   arrangements?"

111
"I'm crazy about you!
 Isn't that enough?"

112
"I suppose that's what 
 you men call love!"

113
"Cancel my appointments,
please. I'm leaving town 
      for a week."

114
Betty was too poor to
quit her job - and too
proud to stay. So she 
        quit!

115
"I - I've come to 
  forgive you."

116
"You don't mean you
thought the baby was
    really mine?"

117
"There's its mother!
Can't you see the
  resemblance?"

118
"What a joke on Waltham
- I told him it was your
          baby!"

119
"He thought it was mine?"

120
"And he wouldn't even 
give me the benefit of 
     the doubt!"

121
"I'll make him propose to 
me - and when he does,
I'll laugh in his face!
And you're going to help 
       me do it!"

122
"But - he's going on a 
yachting cruise and -
and I'm going with him!"

123
"Fine! I'll yacht 
    with you."

124
"But, I say - what about
     your clothes?"

125
"That's the joke on you 
- you're going to buy 
     them for me."

126
"Give me your word
you won't tell him -
    anything!"

127
"Is Mr. Waltham aboard?"

128
"Not yet, sir."

129
"The party's off. We
might as well go back."

130
"Oh no, sir! Mr. Waltham's
expecting you - he'll be
    here any minute."

131
"Shall I show you to 
    your cabins?"

132
"Something I can get for 
 you, Mr. Montgomery?"

133
"No, thanks - I'm just
   prowling about."

134
"Just going for some -
    some - cigars."

135
"Everything ready, 
    Captain?"

136
"Let's get under way."

137
"I'm not feeling so well."

138
"Tea, sir?"

139
"Feeling better, Monty?"

140
"I feel so low, old chap,
that I could get on
stilts and walk under 
    a dachshund!"

141
"Shall I call Miss Van 
Cortland, sir? She's
   in her cabin."

142
"I say, I almost forgot 
about Miss Van Cortland."

143
"Miss Van Cortland - the
- the girl I asked when
you asked me to ask
      someone."

144
"Monty, who is Miss
   Van Cortland?"

145
"You - you tell them, 
     old thing."

146
"She's a very nice girl. I
- I believe Monty met
her in Paris last summer."

147
"You idiot! Who is
    this girl?"

148
"She's a ripping sort,
really! She's positively
  topheavy with 'IT'."

149
"Oh, Monty, am I late for 
   tea? I'm so sorry."

150
"Mr. Waltham! It's been
  years, hasn't it?"

151
"Won't you have 
   some tea?"

152
"Haven't I seen you 
    some place?"

153
"In Paris, perhaps. I'm
    there so often."

154
"Desirez-vous du sucre?"

155
"What do you mean by
   bringing her?"

156
  "You know what sort 
she is - with her father-
      less child!"

157
"But, I say - it isn't
     fatherless -"

158
"I won't have her on
board! We'll put back 
      to port."

159
"Do you think we'll have 
 as nice a day as this
   all day, Captain?"

160
"That's the last time I'll
get you out of a scrape!"

161
"Miss Van Cortland seems
to be rather lacking in
reserve, doesn't she?"

162
"Personally, I think she 
has plenty - in reserve!"

163
"Betty, I've something to 
       say to you."

164
"Won't it wait until
       morning?"

165
"I've been thinking things 
over, Betty. I want to
talk to you - seriously."

166
"Be serious - with you?
      How silly!"

167
"I don't care what you've 
  been - I want you to 
       marry me!"

168
"I'd rather marry your 
     office boy!"

169
"He asked me - and I
laughed at him - and
now it doesn't seem so
darned funny, after all!"

170
"It was a ghastly joke,
old man - her baby's
just a moth - I mean
      a myth!"

171
"It's her friend's baby!
And she's crying for
you - I mean Betty,
 not the baby -"

172
"But you said yourself
  it was her baby -"

173
"Take the wheel, Monty
- I'm going to find her."

174
"The ballast has shifted 
to port, sir - but there's 
      no danger!"

175
"Silly of me, but I'm afraid I
overdid it - made a left-hand
     turn and what not -"

176
"Take your girl friend.
 I had to knock her 
cold - but maybe it'll
     do her good."

177
"Betty, where are
    you going?"

178
"I'm going home!"

179
"Monty will get you."

180
"Monty, I wonder if there's 
  anything between them?"

181
"I'm afraid there is."

182
"We're just a couple of
    It-less 'ITS'!"

THE END

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