Headin' Home

1
 BABE RUTH
    IN

 "HEADIN' 
   HOME"

2
   Presented by
 KESSEL & BAUMANN

   Produced by 
YANKEE PHOTO CORP'N
    __________

  Photographed by
   OLLIE LEACH

3
 Titles by
"Bugs" Baer.

4
"BASEBALLIUM DEMENTIA"
"A disease of the brain that
 attacks a baseball fan in
 his weakest spot.--THE ? ? ?"
                      Darwin.

5
He made the Nation of
Leagues forget the League 
of Nations.
          ---"BABE" RUTH.

6
The national burial ground 
   for grandmothers.

7
"Eliar Lott, an oldtimer from
 Babe's birthplace, Haverlock,
 a little egg and hamlet in
 the sticks."
          ---W. J. Gross.

8
"Babe wuz born in Haverlock.
 It's one of them growing
 towns what's turned out
 many a famous man.--MAYBE."

9
"Babe lived with his
 mother."
       ---Margaret Sedden.

10
"And his foster-sister,
 Pigtails, who had a little
 dog labelled Herman."
        ---Frances Victory.

11
"Herman wuz a good watch-
 dog when he wuz awake --
 HE SLEPT MOST OF THE TIME."

12
"His maw knew that Babe
 would be a big man some
 day if th' pitchers would
 throw it anywhere near him."

13
"Babe puzzled the squirrels
 considerable. Used to spend
 his time in th' woods chopping
 nature up into baseball bats."

14
"Cyrus Tobin wuz banker
 an' owned th' town, lock, 
 stock an' barr'l."
        ---James A. Marcus.

15
"Si owned th' town an' his
 daughter Mildred owned both."
            ---Ruth Taylor.

16
"Si's son wuz just back
 from college. He grad-
 uated in billiards, trick
 clothes an' bad debts."

17
"The old man told him
 to get on to himself
       or blow."

18
"Th' boy said he wuz sick
 of the one-Ford town an'
 left for New York on th'
 passenger milk train."

19
"Doc Hedges wuz Republican
 dog catcher by unanimous
 vote of Si Tobin."
        ---George Halpin.

20
"Doc surrounded Pigtail's
 dog Herman for not havin'
 a wholesale flea license
 an' tail lights."

21
"Th' most we thought of
 Babe wuz that some day
 he would go to a bigger
 town where there wuz
 more loafin' to do."

22
"Pigtail told Babe, an'
 Babe madder'n a porker-
 pine with ingrown quills."

23
"The village barber wuz the 
 reason why safety razors
 wuz so popular in Hav-
 erlock. He managed th' 
 ball club."
        ---Walter Lawrence.

24
"It was a pink-letter day
 when the new pitcher,
 HARRY KNIGHT, arrived."

25
"That pink-letter feller
 thought he wuz th' whole red
 alphabet. He wuz to be
 pitcher an' bank clerk for Si."
          ---William Sheer.

26
"He gave Babe what you
 fellers call th' Ritz. We
 call it th' BROAD A as
 in bawth."

27
"Pigtails, tells Babe to go
 easy as funerals come
 high these days."

28
"Deacon Flack was in a
 sweat to get fifty pounds
 of ice for the church
 festival that night."

29
"This feller Knight had more
 names than Hamburger 
 steak. He wuz as crooked
 as a dog's hind legs."

30
"An old pal recognized him
 and wanted to know what a
 second-story man wuz doin'
 in a one-story town."

31
"Dave Talmadge wuz church
 pastor on Sundays an--"
           ---Charles Burt.

32
"There wuz nothin' bigoted
 about our new minister. He
 approved of ice cream an'
 sarsprilly in moderation."

33
"Babe wuz both heels over
 his hat in love with Mildred."

34
"The kids used to follow
 that new pitcher aroun'
 like cats after a fish wagon."

35
"Babe would rather play base
 ball than eat an' he had a 
 natcheral talent for both."

36
"That fifty pounds of ice
 looked like it had been 
 on a hunger strike."

37
"Almira Worters thought Babe
 wuz the handsomest man
 in town. Haverlock ain't a
 big town."

         ---Ricca Allen.

38
"They say love is blind
 an' infatuation is cross-eyed.
 Almira wuz a happy medium
 'tween the two - -"

39
"Mildred kinda noticed Babe
 then. A woman never looks
 at a man until another woman
 looks at him first."

40
"Doc Hedges thought he'd
 have to get a bigger net
 for Babe."

41
"Th' barber and his wife
 might have been happy if
 they both hadn't spoke the
 same language."
           ---Anne Brodie.

42
"Babe tried to patch up
 their quarrel, but as a
 peacemaker he was a 
 good ball player."

43
"There wuz Fourteen Points
 that Babe didn't know about
 peace making."

44
"There wasn't a night that
 Babe wasn't home. No other
 place to go in Haverlock."

45
"His maw wanted to know
 why he wuz stayin' home
 on th' big festival night
 of gayety, mirth and 
 soda pop."

46
"At social affairs Babe
 was like a fish out of water.

47
"The barber feller figured
 that garlic was made to be
 smelled an' not seen."

48
"Man for man, that spaghetti
 wuz stronger'n th' White
 Sox infield."

49
"But Babe didn't want to
 see Mildred foolin' around
 with that Knight feller."

50
"The Volunteer Firemen's
 Quartette wuz tearin' the moss
 off the Old Aching Bucket."

51
"Miss Almira knew it was
 Leap Year an' this wuz
 her month to jump."

52
"There wasn't nuthin' wrong
 that Babe couldn't do right."

53
"That Knight feller had
 wormed his way up to
 cashier. He wuz crookeder
 than a hobo's heels."

54
"He stole Tobin's money to
 bet on Haverlock versus
 Highland for th' champeen-
 ship of th' vicinity."

55
"Babe seemed to know that
 ten cents worth of kindlin'
 wood would make him 
 famous some day."

56
"Love makes you go through
 fire an' water. Marriage
 throws th' water on th'
 fire---"

57
"Doc Hedges wuz too mean
 to let Babe wet his feet
 in th' town lake."

58
"That was one time Babe
 gave way to his feelings."

59
"Th' uniforms had been
 fitted personally by mail."

60
"That snipe Knight said he'd
 quit if clumsy Babe even
 got a button off a cap."

61
"Then Babe ups and tells him
 he'd be playing in th' Polo
 Grounds when Knight wuz
 sellin' one peanut in
 two bags."

62
"Never mind, my boy, some
 day you will be a great
 player and they will all have 
 to look up to you."

63
"Th' Highland team came to
 town to beat our boys and
 make 'em like it."

64
"Th' barber was ready with
 tonic--either hair or tonsil."

65
"Th' Highland pitcher
 went to th' barber to
 get prettied up."

66
"Delilah cut Samson's hair but
 this barber filled this Samson
 with old Jumpsteady moon-
 shine."

67
"Th' parade wuz so good
 it wuz repeated twice
 by request."

68
"'N the Highland manager
 found his pitcher hadn't
 gone near any well too
 often."

69
"Knight wuz boastin' he
 would stand Highland
 wrong end sideways."

70
"With his pitcher boiled like
 a New England dinner, the
 manager offered Babe a job."

71
"Babe didn't want to play
 against Haverlock, but Pig-
 tails made him."

72
"Babe couldn't get into that
 Boy Scout uniform. Fine
 feathers make birds, but not
 ballplayers - -"

73
"It was his chance to
 show he had th' makin's
 an' could roll 'em."

74
"Th' Fit and Drum Corps
 blowed itself sour that day."

75
"That Haverlock team wuz
 a might fine lookin'
 bunch of misfits."

76
"While the Highlanders wuz
 all bone and muscle - -
 mostly BONE."

77
"Nobody paid no more atten-
 tion to Babe than to a No
 Smoking sign."

78
"Th' best Babe got from
 th' home ump wuz th'
 worst of it."

79
"The ump called Babe out
 on a couple of dinky curves
 and a few wild pitches."

80
"The game wuz nip and
 tuck in the fifth with the
 umpire still livin'."

81
"Babe wuz doin' good in
 th' field so long as
 nuthin' came his way."

82
"Then he threw a shoe
 goin' after an easy fly - -
 and the crowd threw a fit."

83
"The young uns gave Babe
 the merry razzberry."

84
"Bout this time they wuz
 gettin' ready to launch a
 new church winder."

85
"In the ninth innin' it was
 upsticks, 14-14."

86
"Take him out! Give
 him the air!"

87
"Babe busted that toothpick
 bat an' called for that old
 home-made war club - -"

88
"This crook Knight wuz
 throwin' a ball that looked
 smaller'n a split oat."

89
"Th' home town crowd wanted
 to lynch a home town boy
 for makin' a home run for
 the wrong town."

90
"Doc Hedges thought that
 Babe wuz after him. It
 looked that way, but this time
 Babe was playing safety first."

91
"Herman too made
 a home run."

92
"Miss Almira blamed that
 winder on Babe."

93
"Minister couldn't believe
 it. Ball park wuz five
 blocks away."

94
"Almira convinced th' minister
 that Babe could knock a
 cobblestone a mile with a
 darning needle - -"

95
"That old maid prayed
 for Babe but praying
 don't get husbands."

96
"The crowd ran Babe ragged
 but th' minister got up in
 time to save th' mob."

97
"The generous manager of
 the visitin' team gave
 Babe a munificent advance 
 on his salary."

98
"An' th' town that Babe's
 homers made famous wuz
 drivin' him out for makin'
 the first one there."

99
"Th' gal wuz gettin' ready to
 leave her first town with a
 crook who'd left a thousand."

100
"Th' gal got remorseful. Changed
 her mind like a woman' an'
 stuck to it like a man."

101
"Babe made that crook
 apologize in six languages an'
 Esperanto to Mildred - -"

102
"Babe wasn't much on that
 Hearts an' Flowers stuff. His
 heart was willin' but his
 tongue wuz on a strike - -"

103
"Her old man figured she'd
 trotted off with Babe and
 wuz sorer than a ringworm."

104
"Babe took the blame off 
 th' gal. He wuz one goat
 what never let out a bleat."

105
"Babe wuz headin' away
 from home."

106
"Babe stayed in Hillsdale
 long enough to get out.
 He rose to fame like a
 comet with two tails."

107
"Babe saw young Tobin with
 a flashy lookin' gal an' knew
 th' kid wuz bein' took."

108
"'Nother ballplayer tells Babe
 th' gal is trimmin' young
 Tobin like a scythe in a
 hayfield."

109
"So Babe vamps that vamp
 an' frames her for a dinner."

110
"Back in Haverlock, old Si
 wuz off'n his feed about
 that boy John."

111
"That boy would have been
 as welcome as May flowers
 in January."

112
"The vamp put up an awful 
 holler when Babe slipped her
 a deuce spot and blew be-
 fore the eats were paid for."

113
"Gee, how my mother could
 make pies."

114
"And how my father
 could eat!"

115
"And Babe got the glad news
 to report for his big league
 soup and fish in three days--"

116
"I'm headin' home."

117
"He'd been away two years when
 Haverlock started to hear from
 th' man that put th' town on 
 th' weather reports."

118
"The kid told th' old man that
 Babe sent him home which
 made Babe as solid as the rock
 that made th' Prudential famous."

119
"Th' day that Babe came
 home will be remembered
 as long as Haverlock
 remains a small town.
 Which will be always."

120
"Babe flashes first fifty dollar
 plaster ever seen in town."

121
"My boy.
 My boy."

122
"Babe tells Jim the room
 is overcrowded and to
 try the second show."

123
"And we're all here from 
 Haverlock to see Babe
 knock it out of the lot."

124
"An' danged if that crook
 Knight wasn't sellin' peanuts
 an' stealin' the shells."


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