Grandma's Boy

1  
      .The place.
BLOSSOM BEND: One of those
slow towns where the Tuesday
morning Express arrives Wednesday
afternoon. If Monday's train gets
out of the way.

2
The Boy _
At the age of eleven months
and four teeth _ Afraid to call
his cradle his own.

3
At school he rubbed great holes
in his stockings _ Where his knees
        shook together.

4
"How little have they gotta be 
    before you'll fight?"

5
Nineteen _ Meek, modest and
retiring. The boldest thing
he ever did was to sing out 
      loud in church.

6
The Girl _
Has never been taught to coquet _
But she can work wonders 
for an amateur.

7
The Rival _
He bullied his way through
four grades at school _ And
licked the teacher as a graduation
           exercise.

8
"Mildred and me just finished
freezing the ice cream _
We wanted to surprise her ma."

9
"Pretty hot work _
But I wanted to surprise you."

10
     One mile later _
Mostly up hill, and no shade.

11
His Old Fashioned Grandmother _
She raised him through the croup,
measles and whooping cough _
and felt slighted when he dodged 
the mumps.

12
The Rolling Stone _
Has gathered no moss.
But he has picked up
a lot of soil.

13
"Tell that nasty old tramp
to get right out of our yard."

14
"Put me out!"

15
"We made him scoot _
Didn't we?"

16
"There's only one we, Granny _
That's you."

17
"... And I promised Mildred
to come over tonight _
Look at my Sunday suit _
They'll think I've outgrown it."

18
"Now just you stop worrying, Sonny _
You can wear Granddaddy's suit."

19
"Be sure and come over tonight _
Harold will be so disappointed
if you're not there."

20
"It's just as good as the day
your Granddaddy bought it
in '61. There wasn't another
suit like it _  The peddler
said so."

21
Evening _
The Gathering may last
into the wee small hours _
As late as 9:30.

22
First to arrive _
Dressed strictly up to date _
For the Spring of 1862.

23
"That peddler lied to Granny!"

24
"I LOVE YOU - I LOVE YOU - I LOVE YOU"

25
"Ma wants some gasoline _
She's scouring pa's neck."

26
"Come on _
Let's have some more fun."

27
"_ _ _ It's the same tramp 
that's been hangin' ' round town
all day! The whole community
is 'roused _ There'll be no sleep 
here tonight _ _ _"

28
"Every able bodied man
must act as a deputy _ _ _"

29
"Sorry _ That's the last badge _ _ _"

30
"What a pity, Harold _
I know how disappointed 
you must be."

31
   "Oh, I just KNOW
you'll capture the tramp _
It's a wonderful chance!"

32
"H-E-Y!"

33
"H-E-Y!"

34
"Poor Sonny - There ought to
be some way to help him."

35
Daybreak stings the boy 
with the realization that
he is helpless, hopeless and
useless _ A weakling.

36
"Why, what's the matter, Sonny?"

37
  "It's no use, Granny _
I'm a coward _ I'm a coward."

38
"Nothing is ever as bad as it seems, Sonny _
Every cloud has a silver lining."

39
"When Granddaddy was your age _ _ _

40
... He thought he was the biggest coward
       in the whole world, but ...

41
... on the morning of April 7, 1862 ...

42
"I hates 'em all _
Go an' get 'em!"

43
"I can't! They sent me
to steal General Bell's code,
but I can't go through with it _
I'm a coward _ I'm a coward."

44
"Look! The magic charm of Zuni!
Him as holds the mystic Idol
is all powerful! He conquers _
   Nothin' can harm him.
    Nothin' - Nothin'."

45
"See! The charm protects _
    Zuni never fails _
     Go an' get 'em!"

46
"I'm afraid I made it too strong, sir."

47
"You're no soldier _
You're a regiment!"

48
"But I have no magic charm, Granny."

49
"They've trapped the tramp 
 in the old Miller shack! 
 He's wounded five _ An' 
  scared Hail Columbia 
    outta the rest!"

50
   "Here comes more deputies!
Sheriff needs every able bodied man 
       over at the shack_ 
     Feelin' poorly, myself."

51
"If I lead will you all follow me?"

52
"Come on _ Nothing to fear _
        I GOT HIM!"

53
  "It's no use. We'll never
capture him without bloodhounds_
  An' he'd probably chew up
  a half dozen o' them."

54
"It was your wonderful charm 
   that did it, Granny _
     It wasn't me..."

55
"There was no charm, Sonny.
It was all you _ Nobody but you _
  Granny knew her real boy
better than he knew himself."

56
"But the charm saved Granddaddy?"

57
"Bless your heart, Sonny.
That story was all a fib _
Just a little white fib."

58
"DO YOU LOVE ME?"

59
"WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

60
"RIGHT NOW?"

The
END

Home