The Crowd

1  
JULY 4th, 1900 
The nation on holiday! 
Fireworks! Parades! 
Picnics! Celebrating 
America's 124th birthday! 

2
-- but what was a little 
thing like the Declaration 
of Independence compared 
to the great event happen-
ing in the Sims household?

3
"There's a little man the 
world is going to hear 
from all right, Doctor."

4
"I'm going to give him 
  every opportunity."

5
Johnny Sims reached the 
age of twelve. He recited 
poetry, played piano and 
sang in a choir....so did
Lincoln and Washington!

6
"What are you gonna 
be when you grow up, 
     Whitey?" 

7
"I detend to be a preacher 
    man! Hallelujah!"

8
"I purpose to seek 
 occupation as a 
     cowboy."

9
"How 'bout you, Johnny 
        Sims?"

10
"My Dad says I'm goin' 
to be somebody big!"

11
"Jimminy crickets! It's 
stoppin' at your house, 
       Johnny!"

12
"You must be brave now, 
little man....like your 
father would want you 
       to be."

13
When John was twenty-one 
  he became one of the 
seven million that believe 
  New York depends on 
        them.

14
"You've gotta be good in 
 that town if you want 
  to beat the crowd."

15
"Maybe....but all I want 
   is an opportunity."

16
"Washin' 'em up, Sims?"

17
"Takin' a wash, Sims?"

18
"Scrubbin' 'em up, Sims?"

19
"Chasin' the dirt, Sims?" 

20
"You birds have been 
working here so long 
that you all talk alike!"

21
"I've got a pair of wrens 
dated up for Coney Island. 
Want to make it a four-
        some?"

22
"Nothin' doin', Bert! 
I'm studying nights!"

23
"Aw, come on! These 
babies have got what 
 ain't in books!"

24
"Well, I'll try anything 
once....but I ought to 
       study."

25
"You know, Bert...forgetting 
studies once in a while is 
good for us business men."

26
"Say, You! Face the 
      front!"

27
"This night-life is my speed, 
Bert Old Bean! We gotta 
     do it often!"

28
"Jane....John! John....Jane! 
Mary....John! John....Mary!"

29
"Come on, Romeo! Save 
  something for the
     moonlight!"

30
"Look at that crowd! 
The poor boobs....all 
  in the same rut!"

31
"Cut out the high-hat, 
John! Do your stuff!"

32
"I get a pain in the neck 
from most people...but
  you're different."

33
"The poor sap! And I bet 
 his father thought he
  would be President!"

34
"Sit down! You don't 
look historical....you
   look hysterical!"

35
"Say, am I ridin' with 
 you....or wrestlin'?"

36
"Gee....I oughtn't to 
  let you kiss me."

37
"You big egg....can't
     you read?"

38
"It doesn't say positively!"

39
"Mary, let's you and me 
     get married."

40
"Don't forget to pull 
  down the shades."

41
 "Don't cry, Mother! 
This isn't my funeral!"

42
"Jimmy, you and Dick stay 
home nights with Mom....
like good brothers, won't 
         you?"

43
"Well, I'll give them a 
  year....maybe two."

44
"That's the home we're 
going to have, Honey....
when my ship comes in."

45
"Did I hear you-all speakin'
'bout havin' yo' bed made 
           up?"

46
"From the way he's dolling 
up....he must expect to 
  walk in his sleep."
  
47
"Ah! The secret is out!"

48
"Mary! It's me!"

49
"You're the most beautiful 
 girl in all the world!"

50
"My love will never stop, 
Mary.  It's like these 
        falls."

51
CHRISTMAS EVE --
Home, Sweet Home.

52
"Wife and I are happy
And everything is swell;
It's heavenly inside our flat
But outside it is El!"

53
"Will you put the folding
   bed in its garage?"

54
"Mom and the boys will 
be here soon. Better get
ready....it's after six."

55
"You'd better answer. 
They're your family."

56
"Aren't you going to 
     kiss Mom?"

57
"Johnny's invented another 
 new trick. Coax him to
    do it for you." 

58
"It isn't much....just
  breaking my arm." 

59
"He says he's goin' to
  bust his arm, Mom."

60
"That's it!"

61
"That's what?"

62
"The trick!"

63
"Before you attempt any 
more tricks, young man, 
I'd like to know if you 
 got your raise yet."

64
"No....but everybody tells 
  me my prospects are 
        good."

65
"He says, 'No'.....as usual."

66
"He says he has prospects....
        as usual."

67
"Wipe the soap off 
    your ear!"

68
"Soap on his ear....
  from shaving."
  
69
"Probably from yesterday."

70
"It looks like the plumber 
  has been here again." 

71
"Maybe Bert has some."

72
"Forget something?"

73
"Careful, dear! Don't 
  slip on the ice!"

74
"Don't be foolish! Why 
should I slip on the 
       ice?"

75
"Don't slip, dear!"

76
"Oh, Gee, Baby! How 
did the angels ever let 
  you leave Heaven?"

77
"Gee, but you're a great, 
big, good lookin' some-
    account man!" 

78
 "Show me the way to go home;
I'm tired and want to go to bed."

79
"Somethin' you ate no 
       doubt."

80
"S'no doubt." 

81
"S'my castle."

82
"Looked all 'round town. 
 Couldn't find a drop."

83
"S'Mom and the boys 
       went?"

84
"They don't understand 
you...but that doesn't 
      matter."

85
"Do you understand 
       me?"

86
"You're a wonnerful 
   little woman."

87
"Whuzza idea....always 
doin' somethin' wrong?"

88
APRIL.

89
"Why didn't you tell me 
   this was busted?"

90
"You've got this on the 
     blink, too!"

91
"For the love of Mike, 
   will....will --"

92
"-- will you please have 
that darned thing fixed
       today?"

93 
"Nothing works right 
 around this place!"

94
"Why didn't you 
   take it?" 

95
"Your hair looks like 
    Kelcy's cat!"

96 
"Can't you do anything 
    for yourself?"

97
"I'm getting sick and 
tired of you always 
 criticizing me!"

98
"Forget it, Mary! I'll 
overlook your faults!" 

99
"Why can't you tell 
me when things are 
      full?"

100
"You'd try the patience 
     of a Saint!"

101
"You're no soothing 
  syrup yourself!"

102
"Take it from me, marriage 
isn't a word...it's a 
      sentence!"

103
"I'm leaving!" 

104
"I....I didn't get a chance 
      to tell you --"

105
"From now on I'm going 
to treat you different, 
       dearest."

106
"Mary, you're the most 
beautiful girl in all the 
        world."

107
OCTOBER.

108
"There should have been 
word from the hospital 
    before this." 

109
"Well....I'm a father!" 

110
"When I get my big job, 
Bert, I'll take care of 
    you for this." 

111
"Do you know where 
    my wife is?"

112
"Where'll I find Mrs. 
       Sims?"

113
"Where's my wife?"

114
"I'm Sims, Doctor! John 
  Sims! Her husband!" 

115
"Don't worry! We've 
never lost a husband 
       yet!" 

116
"John Sims!" 

117
"Poor boy....I'm sorry 
   you suffered so." 

118
"He's just like you, 
      Johnny."

119
"This is all I've needed 
to make me try harder, 
dear. I'll be somebody 
  now....I promise."

120
During the next five years
 two eventful things 
 happened to the Simses. 
A baby sister was born....
 and John received an 
      $8 raise.

121
"All alone,
I'm so all alone --"

122
"In one ear I got it sand....
in the other I got it you 
   and your zither!"

123
"JOHN!"

124
"The baby, too."

125
"Mom! I wanta napple,
        Mom!"

126
"Hey! Your fire's out!"

127
"Picnic my eye! I'm doing 
  the same things I do 
      every day!"

128
 "Don't crab, dear. Every-
thing's goin' to be roses....
  when my ship comes in."

129
 "Your ship? A worm 
must be towing it down 
from the North Pole!"

130
"Well, don't blame me! 
It takes time to get 
any place in my firm!"

131
"Time? Look where Bert's 
gotten to....while you're 
  dreaming about it!"

132
"Who couldn't get some 
place if they wanted to 
hang around the bosses?" 

133
"I've got big ideas! That 
slogan, A Carload Full 
of Coughs was mine! 
Only somebody sent it 
     in first."

134
"For Pete's sake....stop 
tooting your horn and 
get me some dry wood!"

135
"This is the way I work! 
I'm the old go-getting 
        kid!" 

136
"No matter what happens....
you never hear me squawk!" 

137
"There!"

138
"Thank you!"

139
"You don't need to!"

140
"Here!"

141
"We wanta ride horsey-back, 
          Pop!" 

142
  "This must be my day! 
I feel another advertising 
    slogan coming on!"

143
"John, for once why 
don't you mail one of 
 those slogans in?"

144
"Sleight O' Hand! The 
Magic Cleaner! How's 
 that for a darb?"

145
"Everybody wins a prize 
once in their lifetime....
somehow. 
And $500 came to the 
Simses....all at one time.

146
"I've brought home the 
  bacon, Mary! Five 
   hundred bucks!" 

147
"For God sake get a 
     doctor!" 

148
"Get inside! The world 
  can't stop because 
  your baby's sick!"

149
"Mary! Mary!"

150
"Johnny! Our baby! 
Johnny! Johnny!"

151
"John! John! Where 
    are you?" 

152
   MONTHS...ENDLESS MONTHS. 
  The crowd laughs with you 
always....but it will cry with 
     you for only a day.

153
"Looks to me like you 
haven't got your mind 
  on your work any 
       more."

154
"To hell with this job! 
     I'm through!"

155
Easy to quit a job....hard 
to explain to a wife who 
already is bearing so much
 ....with such courage.

156
"I've got everything ready 
for the company's picnic 
       tomorrow."

157
"We'll have the best 
lunch on the boat....
  see if we don't!" 

158
"John is very happy in 
his present job....but 
his loyalty and ability 
should be recognized, 
        Bert."

159
"You'd better tell Mary 
   about your job."

160
"What was the high-sign 
          for?"

161
"It's not very good news 
to break to you, Mary. 
I quit my job yesterday."

162
"I didn't tell you before
....'cause I don't know 
 whether I've made a 
   mistake or not."

163
"Well, never mind their 
  old job. There are 
plenty of better ones."

164
Mary was right. 
There are plenty of other 
jobs....and John found no 
trouble in landing his fourth 
      in one week.

165
"You wouldn't like to 
 buy one of these, 
   would you?"

166
But it was always the 
   same old story.

167
"I'm sick of selling 
      vacuums."

168
"Oh, did you sell some?"

169
"Mary, I didn't want to 
waste any more time 
on that job....so I quit."

170 
"You see, Mary....there's 
no use trying to sell 
 vacuums. Everybody 
     has one."

171
"Are you sure it's always 
everybody else....and 
      not you?"

172
We do not know how 
big the crowd is, and 
what opposition it is....
until we get out of 
  step with it.

173
"All I need is an 
  opportunity."

174
"Do you expect to take 
a vacation for the 
rest of your life?"

175
"I suppose we'll have 
to get you a job....or 
you'll be starving on 
     our hands."

176
"On your account, Sis, 
we've decided to give 
     him a job." 

177
"Johnny! My brothers 
are going to give you 
       a job!"

178
"You mean you won't 
     take it?"

179
"Don't you see, Mary....
I can't take a charity 
        job."

180
"I....I....I think I've got a 
   line on something big."

181
"That's all you've been 
  saying for months!"

182
"If she was wise she'd 
  quit you and come 
  back home with us."

183 
"You've never been anything 
but a big bag of wind....
and that's all you ever 
      will be!" 

184
"You bluff! You 
    quitter!" 

185
"I'd almost rather see 
     you dead!"

186
"Why don't you never 
play with me any 
      more?"

187
"I like to play with you." 

188
"Doesn't Momma like 
        you?" 

189
"I like you."

190
"When I grow up I wanta 
   be just like you."

191
"You still love me? 
You still believe in 
     me, boy?"

192
"Sure I do, Pop!"

193
"We can do it, boy! 
 We'll show them!"

194
"I've got to get a job! 
 I've got a wife and 
        kid!"

195
"So have lots of us!"

196
"Who can juggle balls...
to attract attention to 
       a sign?" 

197
"I got a job today, 
      Mary --"

198
"-- and I'm going back 
      tomorrow --"

199
"It isn't much, Mary....
but it's a start! I'll 
  make good now....
     believe me."

200
"We'll be waiting for 
    you outside."

201
"Do you still feel you 
    must go, Mary?"

202
 "Whatever you think, 
Mary....but I'll always 
 love you and work to 
    win you back."

203
"I fixed your dinner. 
 It's in the oven." 

204
"I darned your socks 
and washed everything. 
They're in the bureau." 

205
"I guess that's all. 
  Good-bye, John."

206
"You don't understand....
he has always depended 
     so on me --" 

207
"-- and I've got to make 
sure he has everything 
       he needs."

208
"I came back to tell 
you that you can see 
Junior any evening 
you're lonesome."

209
"Thank you, Mary. Do 
you think Junior and 
you could go to the 
show just for tonight?" 

210
"You see, I bought tickets 
when I thought everything 
was going to be all right."

211
"They sure look pretty 
    on you, Mary."

THE END

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