The County Fair

1
The name of Neil Burgess
is so linked with "The
County Fair" that one
cannot well be mentioned
without the other. This
delightful play of humor
and heart interest was
one of the outstanding
successes of the preceding

[dissolve to:]

2
generation. It was presented
in every city and town
of any size in America
time and time again
over a period of twenty
years. Maurice Tourneur
has transferred for the
first time to the screen
the wholesome and

[dissolve to:]

3
entertaining events which
endeared the famous play
to our fathers and
       mothers.

4
New England, sleeping 
drowsily 'midst Autumn's
   colored dreams.

5
Drowsiest of all 
hamlets was Somerset,
where they still
believe in the Bible -

6
- and can talk more
politics than a whole
troop of boy orators.

7
"Aunt Abigail Prue,
 a hopeful spinster
 with a heart as big
 as the tidy little
 farm she owned."

8
This was the only
home that Sally
Greenway had ever
known --

9
- a wild weed, transform-
  ed by Love into the
 sweetest flower of
     the village.

10
"Sally, where's my
'specks? I declare I'm
 forever losing them!"

11
"I want to see right
 peart today -- they
 do say that new
 Boston preacher acts
 his sermons wonderful!"

12
"Mercy me, Sally I've
 got right good sight
 without my specs.
 Joel Bartlett's been
 sparkin' you plumb
      regular."

13
"It'll be mighty lone-
 some for me, Sally,
 when you leave to
   get married."

14
"But Aunt Abigail,
 he hasn't asked me
 yet. Maybe he never 
       will."

15
"What do you suppose
 he's always reading
 those love plays from
 Shakespeare for?
 Practicin' up, I calls 
         it."

16
"Now run along and
 hurry up or you'll
 be late for church.
 And don't forget to
 dampen off the fire."

17
  Joel Bartlett,
the new hired man
had taken one look
at Sally and started
  reading poetry.

18
 He figured on
"practicin' up"
 before he popped
 the question.

19
"Thine eyes are like
 the stars in heaven,
 Thy ruby lips perfume
 the dawn --"

20
Aunt Abby didn't need
her 'specks to see what
was under her nose.

21
"'Cold Molasses'
 ain't Sally -- don't
 waste them sweet
 sayin's on her."

22
"Whoa! Think you're
 goin' to a fire?"

23
"Nope -- not till I
 die. Just hurryin'
 to hear the parson
   tell about it."

24
"Hell-fire, you mean?
 And you a college
 man! That A.B. degree
 I paid for must mean
      All Bunk!"

25
Solon Hammerhead 
was a pillar of the 
church - on Sunday.

26
 His simple creed was:
"Do unto others as
 they would do to you
 - but do it first."

27
Bruce Hammerhead 
had all his father's 
meanness -- plus a
college education.

28
"So stingy he bought
 a two seater so's
 folks couldn't ask
 for a ride by gum!"

29
"Look what its done
 a'ready - grape juice
 for communion has
 started folks backsliden!"

30
"Judge" Digby Pettigrew,
the genial county sheriff.

31
Otis Tucker had been
Abigail's "hopeful" going
on ten years -- but
his wishbone was
where his backbone
   ought to be.

32
"Be you standin' on
 your head, Otis?"

33
Cleanliness is next
to godliness -- there
were some in the
village who believed
it was even better.

34
Tommy Perkins agreed
with these free-
thinkers, but --

35
"Stop squeaking,
    Thomas!"

36
The choir practiced
every Friday evening -
Sunday morning services
proved they needed it.

37
His dream idea of 
what Heaven is
     like.

38
The new preacher was 
a disappointment --
he promised them
heaven instead of
giving them hell.

39
"Aunt Abby says
 automobiles are
 even worse than
    buggies."

40
"Aw, come on,
 Sally -- it's broad
    daylight!"

41
"Bright young feller,
 that new parson --
 preaches somethin'
 besides hell fire
  an' brimstone."

42
"Must be mighty
 comfortin' to you."

43
"Mercy, Judge, what
 would our dear
 departed pastor
 say to such a
 sermon - that Adam
 was a monkey."

44
"Maybe the Parson's
 right and all the
 Adams ain't dead
 yet, Miss Abigail."

45
"What do you want
 her to do - come
 clean down in the
 road and kiss you?"

46
"Turn right back!
 You promised to
 take me home!"

47
"Road's too narrow,
       Sally."

48
Meanwhile father
is not losing any
      time.

49
"You always avoid me,
 and - I wanted to ask
  you to marry me."

50
"Well, you've asked
 me - now let me go!"

51
"I'm the best catch
 in town -- and in
 two weeks you won't
 have a roof over
    your head!"

52
"You mean he's going
 to turn Aunt Abby
 out in the street!"

53
If Solon had a 
heart, he kept it
in his trousers
    pocket.

54
"Ain't week days
 enough to do your
 meanness in without
 breakin' the Sabbath?"

55
"Ain't you never
 heard the sayin':
'The better the 
 day, the better
    the deal?"

56
"Guess the Lord won't
 mind me attendin' to
 business -- I ain't
 interferin' with Him."

57
"You're a good cook -
 and economical. Why
 not marry me and
 keep the mortgage
  in the family?"

58
"Mortgage or no
 mortgage, I wouldn't
 have you if you
 were the last man
    on earth!"

59
"All right, then -
 I'll foreclose
     on you!"

60
Comparisons are odious.
By the time Sally
reached home, she
realized that she
loved Joel deeply.

61
"Has Solon Hammerhead
 been bothering you
 about the mortgage?"

62
"The old curmudgeon
 threatens to put us
 out, but don't you
 worry -- the Lord
   will provide."

63
And so the blue 
sky of happiness
vanished in the 
sunset of Sally's
     hopes.

64
"I've been holding Abigail
 Prue's Saturday paper
 for Otis Tucker for
 nigh on ten years so's
 he could take it to
 her himself on Sunday
        night."

65
"'Bout time he popped
    the question."

66
"Otis is uncommon
 bashful - guess he
 won't live long
     enough."

67
"Make hay while the
 sun shines" was not
 Joel's motto. He was
 braver in the dark.

68
"I just know Aunt
 Abby's worried sick
 - though she says
 the Lord'll provide."

69
"It's a sight easier
 to have faith on
 meat an' potatoes
 'n it is on corn
    meal mush."

70
"Oh, Joel -- if I
 could only help 
       her!"

71
"Thought I'd bring
your paper over,
Abigail - got in my
mail by mistake."

72
"Solon Hammerhead
 asked me to marry
    him today."

73
"Sooner than have
 you marry him --
 I'd -- I'd --"

74
"- I'd wring his
 neck for him!"

75
"Don't cry, child, Joel'll
 get another job even
 if the farm does
         go."

76
"I'm crying because
 I'm happy. I'm going
 to marry Bruce
 Hammerhead, not Joel."

77
"Sally, I can see through
 you like a book and
 I'm not going to let
 you marry that brow-
 beating son of old
 Solon's to help me."

78
Somerset folks were
so honest that a two-
armed man passed
the plate in church
and burglars were as
scarce as hens teeth.

79
Aunt Abby had a
big heart and
Tim Vail a big
appetite -- so both
  were pleased.

80
"I never stole any-
 thing before -- but
 I'd pretty near
 turn burglar for
 more of these pies."

81
"Joel'll need some
 help with the crops
 - guess you can
 stay an' work if
   you want to."

82
On Tuesdays "Cold Molasses"
went to town. Rural
free delivery meant that
you were free to deliver
mail to yourself at the
     post office.

83
"No use arguin' - you're
 the sheriff, an' it's
 your duty to turn
 Abigail out when
 the mortgage is due!"

84
"Want to race, 
    Sally?"

85
"You'll excuse
 our dust!"

86
"Just thought I'd drop
 in to see if you were
 takin' anything that
   belongs to me."

87
"See that sign?"

88
The only thing that 
kept Joel up nights 
was checkers -- a
vice on which re-
form has not yet
  put the ban.

89
"Cold Molasses is
 all wrong hitched
 to a buggy. I'd
 like to get her
 on a regular
    track."

90
"I used to be
 a jockey up
 at Saratoga."

91
"Is it yes, Sally?"

92
"I -- I think so,
 Bruce but --
 please wait a
 few days for my
    answer."

93
"Day after tomorrow,
 Aunt Abby will
 have to give up
    the farm."

94
"That's the big
 day at the County
 Fair - and there's
 a three thousand
 dollar purse in
 the main race!"

95
"And Cold Molasses
 can lick any horse
   around here!"

96
The try-out.

97
Solon Hammerhead
was also interested
in the races -- his
colt "Lightning" was
  the favorite.

98
As a farmer,
Tim was a 
good jockey.

99
"She's some baby!
 Reckon I'll stick
 with her night and
 day till we win
    that race."

100
"Made it in 
two-five on the 
dot! We've got 
to keep that 
horse out of the 
 race tomorrow!"

101
In desperation the
Hammerheads seek to
destroy Cold Molasses.

102
Tim Vail to
the rescue.

103
Sally's autumn dreams
of love had also
burned to ashes --
her broken heart
welded in the fire
of self-sacrifice.

104
"We're goin' to
 win that race
 yet, Sally - an'
 then I'm goin'
  to claim you!"

105
"It can never be --
 I must marry Bruce
     Hammerhead."

106
The great day of 
the county fair,
with its peanuts
and pink lemonade -

107
- and the Midway,
with "the greatest
aggregation of
living freaks ever
gathered together."

108
The eternal feminine.

109
"Some name, Cold
 Molasses! Why
 don't you get a
     horse!"

110
"Quit monkeying
 with our saddle!
 Tryin' to pull
 something over
     on us?"

111
"For your final run
 give the colt a buzz
 of this battery.
 That will clinch the
 race - we're lucky that
 rube didn't get onto it."

112
"Five dollar bill fer
 any youngster thet
 kin ketch and hold
 the greased pig."

113
"Here goes for another 
      five spot."

114
"Gee! My pants!"

115
"'Cold Molasses' --
 that's some hunch 
      for me!"

116
"-- the Somerset
 handicap, open to
 all comers, weight
 for age, with a
 purse of three
 thousand dollars!"

117
The Start.

118
"They're off!"

119
At the quarter.

120
A close race at 
   the half.

121
Cold Molasses
leads to the three-
   quarters.

122
Lightning draws up
for the stretch
      run.

123
The finish - Lightning
first, Cold Molasses
      - second.

124
"Now I know why
 they didn't want
 me to see their 
     saddle!"

125
"They cheated! It's
against the rules to
use a battery like
that to make a horse
        run."

126
"This horse is
 disqualified!
 Cold Molasses
 wins the race!"

127
The Lord had
provided, and
here came His
deputy in the
 person of -

128
"- three thousand
 dollars of Uncle
 Sam's money! Cold
 Molasses won the 
    big race!"

129
"My farm pretty
 near got away
 from me, but
 you're not going
   to, Otis."

130
THE END


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