The Battle of the Sexes

1 
The battle of the sexes -
 always being fought
and never being won.

2
Marie Skinner wasn't as
 hard as most gold
diggers - she was harder.

3
"I see in the paper, Mr.
Judson, you make two
hundred fifty thousand
dollars in one deal."

4
"Now Mumsy, don't
you look till Papa
     comes."

5
"Many happy returns of
your birthday, Mama."

6
"Mama - my coat -
  hang it up."

7
Babe Winsor - - the
 wrong answer to a 
  maiden's prayer.

8
"It's awf'lly expensive -
   but I'll take it."

9
"I wish that life would
go on like this forever."

10
"Ah! Gee! Mumsy, you
  lose your wish."

11
"I gotta hand it to you -
you're handsomer than
the front of a bank."

12
"Such a man - -
 perfumed ICE!"

13
"He's in there -
   get him!"

14
  "SHUT THE DOOR!
   SHUT THE DOOR!
It might come back."

15
"Oh! Oh! Where 
    am I?"

16
"They - - They just
frighten you out of
    your life!"

17
"You're Mr. Judson -
I've seen so many 
pictures of you in the
     papers"

18
"From the eyebrows up,
you're the image of
     Napoleon."

19
"That's funny, some-
body else told me
   that too."

20
"Awf'lly glad I met you -
for you know - a good
girl in New York gets 
   so lonesome."

21
"Do you mind my phoning
you so often, Mr. Judson?"

22
"Oh, Mr. Judson, I have
  a surprise for you."

23
"It looks just like you, 
     doesn't it?"

24
"I really can't stay."

25
"Stay for just a minute -
      one minute."

26
"Your voice is amazing -
I - I never heard anything
        like it."

27
"Get his subscription to
  these certificates."

28
"I don't want to sell
these things -- it's
    dangerous."

29
"You heard me - get
his subscription!"

30
"I wish Daddy didn't
have to work so hard.
He's at it every night
       now."

31
"Helen Logan's just opened
her new night club - -
they say it's marvelous -
       let's go!"

32
"Please, Mumsy, we've
never been to a night
        club!"

33
"I want you to see my
new bathing suit - -
If you don't like it, I'll
   send it back."

34
"Do I look bowlegged?"

35
"Something's sticking 
         me."

36
"Listen, dear, tell me
if I've got those new
swimming strokes
    right."

37
"Isn't that good, Nappy."

38
"Do you think I can 
get anywhere with a
stroke like this?"

39
"We must get out of 
here. It would just 
kill Mumsy if she saw
      that."

40
"Mumsy, I don't like 
this place. Let's go
  somewhere else."

41
"I've got a terrible headache,
   Mumsy. Can't we go now?"

42
"Aren't you dancing?"

43
"We just did."

44
"May I?"

45
"Don't say anything -
Daddy must have been 
     drinking."

46
"I was out with some
 business friends."

47
"I couldn't sleep. I've been
sitting here thinking of
you - wondering if I've 
been a good wife to you."

48
"Oh, it's nothing -
sleep well, Daddy."

49
More night work.

50
"Can't you stay home 
  tonight, Daddy?"

51
"Do you like my hair 
     marcelled?"

52
"We hoped you'd stay 
  with us tonight."

53
"I can't tonight, Mama -
but next Friday night
we'll all go out and have 
   a real party."

54
"Daddy, I saw you with 
that girl, and - - and
I know where you go 
      nights!"

55
"Stop it - stop it, Mama!
I won't have a scene like 
this before the children."

56
"Daddy! Daddy!"

57
"What are you children 
standing there for?
    Go to bed."

58
"Don't darling ME unless
you've sold those bonds."

59
"It's late - you've got
 to get out of here."

60
"What do you mean 
by having that man 
      here?"

61
"I've known him since 
  he was so high."

62
"I've broken with my 
family over you. Now
you play square with 
        me."

63
"Why, Honey, don't 
  you TRUST me?"

64
"All I do is wait around 
     here for you!"

65
"Shut up - shut up -
you'll rouse the whole 
   neighborhood!"

66
"You don't love me -
you want to get rid 
      of me."

67
"Now, now, Baby, I'm
sorry. I was jealous.
I just couldn't help it."

68
"He's fat and dumb -
 but he gives me 
    diamonds."

69
"I saw her go up to 
    the roof."

70
"I love you Mumsy -
I'd just - just die for
      you."

71
"Watch Mother very 
closely - she's not 
       well."

72
"Miss Skinner is expecting 
     me. I'll wait."

73
"What are you doing 
here? What do you 
      want?"

74
  "You let my Daddy
alone - - or I'll kill
        you!"

75
"Put that gun down!
Do you hear me?
They'll hang you!"

76
"You're worse than 
  a murderess!"

77
  "You don't love my
father. I'll give you all
my allowance if you'll
    let him alone."

78
"Miss Judson - -
  Mr. Winsor."

79
 "Every time you get a
few drinks in you - you
 come up interfering."

80
"Just a minute - -
  I'm dressing."

81
"Just be quiet. It won't
        be long."

82
"Have a smile?"

83
"Why - isn't it yours?"

84
"You know it's not mine!
That jazz hound's been
      here again!"

85
"We men of the world
never have a chance 
to meet girls like you."

86
"Ruth what are you 
   doing here?"

87
"Why, this is my boy 
       friend."

88
"I saw you hugging 
       her."

89
"You - you here with
that jazz hound. You're 
disgracing the whole 
      family."

90
"It's too late for that, 
  Daddy. You beat me
to it. I'm just following
  in your footsteps."

91
"All right, Honey,
 I believe you."

92
"You can't treat me 
this way! I've as much
right to be here as
    YOU have!"

93
"That's different -
    I'm a man."

94
"Yes - well, I am a
       WOMAN."

95
"You - You'd hit me?
You big brute - after
all I've done for you -
and put up with - for
   that old sap."

96
"Daddy - don't you hear?
She doesn't care anything
about you - but we do."

97
"You jazz hound - you
stay away from my 
    daughter."

98
"She didn't come here 
for him - she came to 
  get rid of me."

99
"Mumsy - Mumsy -
Daddy's gotten over 
 his sick spell."

100
"It's too late now."

101
"Mr. Judson, aren't you
forgetting something?
    Those bonds?"

102
"Now, you wouldn't like
any unpleasant publicity,
would you, Mr. Judson?"

103
"You're a fool, but
 you're MY fool!"

104
"We've saved the biggest 
present, Mumsy, to the
last. We'll carry it in 
 and unwrap it here."

105
"I've had a bitter, bitter
  lesson, Mama - won't
   you forgive me?"

Home