Alice in Wonderland

1
She made some tarts
All on a summer's day.

2
Certainly tempting, but

3
Things we do and things
we see shortly before
we fall asleep are most
apt to influence our
dreams.

4
Sister--
   "His name fits some
    little girls I know."

5
Alice
      enters
             Dreamland.

6
The rabbit hole.

7
Down she came upon 
a heap of sticks and 
dry leaves.

8
Doors all around and all
locked. She wondered how
she was ever to get out.

9
She looked along a
passage into the 
loveliest garden you
ever saw.

10
But she couldn't get 
through so she cried,
and cried, and then---

11
"O Mouse, do you know the
way out? I'm afraid I shall 
drown in my tears."

12
    Birds and Beasts
start to the Animal
Convention.

13
 Mouse---
           The Dodo told
me the best thing to get
one dry is a Caucus race.

14
And the Dodo
    Bird.

15
  "I wish my cat were 
here. She's such a 
capital one for catching
mice."

16
  "And oh! I wish you
could see her after the
birds."

17
  "I wish I hadn't talked 
so much about our cat,
nobody seems to like her 
down here."

18
  "What have you done 
with my fan and gloves?"

19
  "The Duchess! She'll 
have me executed."

20
"Why, here are his
 fan and gloves!"

21
Alice meets the caterpillar.

22
"Who are you?" asked the
Caterpillar.
"I hardly know, Sir. I know
who I was, but I think I
must have changed."

23
"Explain yourself, Miss."
"I cannot explain myself,
Sir, because I'm not
myself, you see."

24
Alice - I can't remember
        things as I used.

25
Caterpillar - Try repeating
             "You are old, 
              Father William."

26
"You are old, father William," 
      the young man said,
 "And your hair has become 
      very white;
And yet you incessantly 
      stand on your head--
  Do you think, at your age, 
      it is right?"

27
"You are old," said the youth, 
     "as I mentioned before,
 And have grown most 
      uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-
      somersault in at the door--
 Pray, what is the 
      reason of that?"

28
"You are old," said the youth, "one 
       would hardly suppose
 That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the 
       end of your nose--
 What made you so awfully clever?"

29
"You spoke that wrong
from beginning to end!"

30
You didn't speak the verse 
I like best. It goes like this
        In my youth, said
        the father,
        I took to the law
        And argued each 
        case with my wife

31
And the muscular strength
Which it gave to my jaw
Has lasted the rest of my life.

32
  "From the Queen.
 An invitation for
the Duchess to play
croquet."

33
Too much pepper in the
soup -- and in the air.

34
"It's a Chesire cat
and that's why it grins."

35
The Duchess's Lullaby:
   "Speak roughly to your 
    little boy,

36
"And beat him when 
he sneezes."

37
"He only does it to annoy,
   Because he knows it teases."

            CHORUS.
        "Wow! Wow! Wow!"

38
"Here, take the little pig."

39
 "I must get ready to
play croquet with 
the Queen."

40
"If it had grown up it
would have made a
dreadfully ugly child;
but it makes rather a 
handsome pig."

41
And as she wandered on
Alice thought about other 
children she knew who
might do very well as 
pigs, till suddenly she
came upon the Chesire
Cat.

42
Alice - "Tell me, please which 
     way I ought to go."

43
Cat - "That depends on
 where you want to go."

44
Alice - "I don't much care."

45
Cat - "Then it doesn't matter
      which way you go."

46
Alice - "So long as I
   get somewhere."

47
Cat - "You're sure to do
       that if you only
       walk long enough.

48
Cat---
  "What became of the baby?"
Alice---
  "It turned into a pig."
Cat---
  "I thought it would."

49
Cat - Did you say pig or fig?
Alice - I said pig and I wish
        you wouldn't keep
        appearing and vanishing:
        you make me giddy. I'm 
        going to visit the
        March Hare.

50
"Well! I've often seen
a cat without a grin:
but never before a 
a grin without a cat!"

51
Court of the King and 
  Queen of Hearts.

52
Alice - Why are you painting 
        those roses?
Gardeners - Because we planted
        a white rose tree by
        mistake and the Queen
        will cut off our heads
        if they are not red.

53
"The Queen! The Queen!"

54
"Off with her head!"

55
 "Consider, my dear;
she is only a child!"

56
"Off with their heads!"

57
The Queen's wonderful
    croquet game.

58
"Get your places!"

59
The croquet balls were
hedgehogs, the mallets
were flamingoes and
the arches were soldiers.

60
"I'll try again."

61
"A cat may look at a king."

62
"Off with its head!"

63
"Off with everybody's
       head!"

64
Queen - Come with me to
      the Mock-Turtle.
      He shall tell you
      his history.

65
The Gryphon.

66
Queen - Take this young
      lady to see the
      Mock-Turtle, and
      to hear his history!

67
"Come on," said the Gryphon.
Everybody says "Come on"
here, thought Alice I never
was so ordered about in 
all my life.

68
Sad and lonely the 
Mock Turtle sings his
song, "Turtle Soup."

69
"Beautiful soup so rich 
   and green,
Waiting in a hot tureen."

70
"Who for such dainties
    Would not stoop?
Soup of the evening,
    Beautiful soup!"

71
Alice - What is his sorrow?
Gryphon - He hasn't any;
        it's all his fancy.

72
Gryphon - The Queen says
    this here young lady
    wants for to know
    your history, she
    do.

73
"Once I was -- boo hoo --
      a real Turtle
  -- boo hoo, boo hoo!"

74
"When I was little we went to
 school in the sea and the
 master was an old Turtle --
 we used to call him
 Tortoise, because he
 taught us -- boo-hoo!"

75
"I took up Reeling and
 Writhing, and the different
 branches of Arithmetic --
 Ambition, Distraction,
 Uglification and Derision."

76
Alice - I never heard of
        uglification ---
        what is it?

77
Turtle - Never heard of
    uglifying! You know
    what to beautify is,
    don't you? well --

78
Alice - How many hours
    a day did you do
    lessons?

79
Turtle - Ten hours the first
     day, nine the next, and
     so on. That's the reason
     they're called lessons
     because they lessen
     from day to day.

80
Turtle - Did you ever see a
   Lobster Quadrille? --
   No? -- Let's show her one.

81
Here come the lobsters.

82
Here come the walruses.

83
"Get your partners.
 Now for the quadrille!"

84
W. Rabbit, the King's
herald, calls all creatures
to the trial of the Knave
of Hearts.

85
The trial to find who
stole the Queen of
Hearts' tarts.

86
King - Herald, read the
       accusation!

87
"The Queen of Hearts,
     she made some tarts,
 All on a summer's day;
The Knave of Hearts,
     he stole those tarts,
 And took them quite away!"

88
"Jurors, consider
  your verdict!"

89
King --- "Well then, if we
must have the evidence
before the verdict, call
the first witness.

90
King - Take off your hat!
Hatter - It isn't mine. I keep
         them to sell.

91
King - Give your evidence
       or I'll have you
       executed!

92
Hatter - I'm a poor man,
         Your Majesty --
King - You're a very poor
       speaker!

93
"Call the next witness!"

94
King - Give your testimony.
    What are tarts made of?
Cook - Pepper, mostly.

95
"Call the next witness!"

96
"The next witness
    is Alice!"

97
"I know nothing about this
 business! Besides, who cares
 for you?
 You're nothing but a
 pack of cards!"



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